Can someone explain any of this? Or relate?

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annlee
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 8:46 am

Can someone explain any of this? Or relate?

Post by annlee »

There aren't very many things that I get nervous telling people, I am pretty much an open book and have nothing to hide from people. But when I have tried to tell those close to me about all of these things, they just don't understand and I am left feeling like I am just being over dramatic or over analyzing things- even though deep down, all of this is totally real to me and is a part of who I am.

I tried to post this earlier but it didn't work so I am going to be leaving some things out but I will try to stick to the basics.

All of this started when I was little- as far back as I can remember. The oddest thing about me is my dreams and everyone who knows me would agree. There was a point when people thought I was exaggerating but here I am at age 27, married with three kids and am still talking about the same things so now people just think of it as one of my quirks. I have always had nightmares. Common themes are spirits, demons, snakes, end of the world scenarios, haunted houses, speaking to people who tell me they are dead, etc. I also taught myself how to fly in my dreams over the course of about a year. I started out just running and jumping unable to control my direction, then, controling my direction but not being able to land, etc. Now I fly at will in my dreams and the feeling is so real I feel it in my waking liffe, that weightless feeling in the pit of my stomach. A lot of my dreams are now lucid. My first lucid dream was when I was about 15. I have dreams inside of dreams inside of dreams sometimes making it hard to distinguish what's real and what's not. In my dreams, I try to tell people like my husband, that he's in my dream. I could write a book about my dreams, honestly. I remember dreams I had as a child..... I used to sleepwalk, sometimes acting out dream scenarios and other times just meaninglessly walking around my house only to be awakened by a family member and recall nothing. I talked in my sleep as well.

When I was little I was always interested in things no one around me was interested in. While most kids my age were reading about the box car kids, I was reading about the bermuda triangle, psychic topics, ghosts, the witches of salem, biblical prophecies, aliens, ufos, abductions, etc. It always upset me that I could never share this interest with others, since no one else was ever really interested.

I was very scared as a child. I was scared to be alone and REALLY protective of my little sister. I used to hold her tight when I fell asleep at night for fear something would take her. I never put my feet on the ground when I was on my bed, on the couch or even at the kitchen table because I had a phobia that something I couldn't see would pull me and take me somewhere. I wet the bed a lot because I was scared to get up and go to the bathroom and the times that I did go to the bathroom, I had to scream out and have a full blown conversation with another family member- this was even as early as age 4. And I rationalized it even then. I thought, if someone was talking to me at all times then nothing could take me. Or that whatever was near me would go away. Because yes, I feel like I have been watched my entire life. When I was about 6, I remember waking up in the middle of the night and looking around my room. Everything on my floor was spinning. All of my toys were moving around allover the place. There were birght orbs of lights floating around my room- like how when you rub your eyes too hard or something, only they were literally everywhere. I called my parents in the room to show them what I was talking about but they couldn't see anything. They told me I was dreaming. It was around that time that I started seeing what I refer to as a sparkle. It is just a small flash of light that appears from time to time and I knew it was an entity of some sort, even at that young age. I knew that was what I was scared of, that's what was following me. It almost looked like a piece of glitter reflecting light briefly, only bigger. I used to be scared of it but as I got older, I got familiar with it. When it flashes, I know it has either entered or left the room. The entity has never talked to me and I have never seen a physical form, but I know it's there and it is as real to me as anyone else. I feel like I "know it". Like it's a friend. It usually shows up when I am thinking about something deep and meaningful- like when I am "onto something". It sends chills allover my body, from head to toe. There have been many times where I felt something touching me, something pulling my hair or tapping my back.

I have always felt different- like detached from the world as if I am watching a movie play out. But at the same time, I feel a DEEP connection for humanity and the world, like sympathy. I go out of my way to help total strangers. I cry a lot for no apparent reason. I have always felt like I am supposed to do something huge with my life and as I get older the feeling gets stronger. There are times when I try to gorget about all of this just to be able to live a normal life and feel normal, but then ironic things start happening that leads me right back where I started- trying to figure things out.

I could literally bore you all to death with everything that has happened to me in my life and why I feel so strange. But the thing is- now my kids are experiencing these things. It started with my oldest when he was 2. He is developmentally delayed so at that time he couldn't even talk just mutter things, but he would see things and point at things.....then when he started talking he would tell me about people in his room. He had imaginary friends as well. He also has the strange nightmares and the weird thing is, they are similar to nightmares I have. Now, my middle child who is two is having these same experiences. It's worse with her than it was with my oldest. She has full blown conversations with people who are not there. She is scared just like I was as a child and has the same bedwetting problems. She runs out of her room screaming about monsters and people, etc.

I also feel I should mention my extreme paranoia. I obsessively check and re-check all doors and windows. I check on my kids multiple times through the night to make sure they aren't gone. I plot out escape routes in my mind should anything ever go down. I have been this way all of my life, just overly protective and constantly on edge of something crazy happening.

Also, people tell me that they feel drawn to me, like that they know I am supposed to help them with something..... Everyone surrounds me. All family functions are held at my house. Even as a child everything was centered around me, all of my friends would meet up at my house. I always thought I was just a natural born leader but now I feel like it is something else, like I am actually going to save people from something bad..... I attract all kinds of stray animals and homeless people and people who are in bad situations. I always find myself helping someone with something and it's draining.

Also, last year I started experiencing the "11:11" phenomenon, though when I read about the explanation online I am not sure it really answers my questions about it. That's a whole different topic for another time, just thought I would throw that one in there.

Now I am reading about the whole owl thing and it never occured to me that there is anything special about it- but I have had several dreams of owls- bad dreams. Also, when I was little there used to be an owl that stayed perched in the tree located right next to my bedroom and it kept me up at night. I just called my brother and sister to ask if they remembered it and they have no idea what I was talking about.

And my emotions- are crazy. I remember one time when I had gotten into it with my parents, I stormed out of the house and met up at the park with my friends. We were all standing by the river- about 8 of us, and the harder I cried, the stronger the wind would blow and the waves would crash into the wall. Everyone noticed it and looked at me like I was crazy. Even they thought somehow I was controling the environment by crying, when they never even believed in that sort of thing. When I was like 17 all of my friends stopped coming over my house because they said it was haunted and it scared them. My dad once had a dream that he tried getting in my room but a force through him out, he called it a demon. Naturally, he had our house blessed by a pastor after that. One of my old friends had dreams of me crawling backwards on her ceiling and she started distancing herself from me after that.

I am going on and on here, I know. But I am just looking for possible explanations. I am at my whits end with all of this and I just either want it all to stop or at least figure it out..... Why does all of this stuff happen to me? And now to my kids?

mami777
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:21 am

Re: Can someone explain any of this? Or relate?

Post by mami777 »

Yes, Annlee, I am like you , but now , I am 53 yrs old , the only difference at you age I was
uncapable to be a mother. Well after one o several " nigthmares" ( exactly like yours) , my mind, my spirit an my body were very very exhaust, several Doctors Told me I had Slep Apnea, Slep Paralysis etc, etc. and give a lot of adictive prescriptions , than more that help me it cause to me addiction problems; thanks God it's thing of the past. Now I am accepting the true and little for little, I can see the ligth I am no the only one. I Hope it can Help you. Mami777

annlee
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 8:46 am

Re: Can someone explain any of this? Or relate?

Post by annlee »

I used to be very frustrated. No one understood how exhausting it was for me. When most people go to sleep to rejuvenate, I was stressed out in my sleep. The nightmares and constantly waking up at night, racing thoughts and daydreaming during the day- it's like I never really got a break. I was at one point put on medication for anxiety but after a week of that I realized I wanted to try and deal with it all on my own. After having my third child last year I started therapy, hoping to at least have unbiased ears to listen.....boy was that a mistake. After explaining some things to the therapist, she insinuated I may be crazy- which I am absolutely not crazy. It does make me sad sometimes. Everyone else has someone to share their personal life with- but I can't really talk to anyone about these things. Even my husband, as good as he is to me, has a line..... some things he just doesn't understand about me and it frustrates him. It's just upsetting because this stuff is really important to me. The only reason people even listen to my dreams is for entertainment purposes and the best advice they have for me is that my dreams would make some awesome movies..... I can understand where they are all coming from. I really can. I don't know how I would take it if I were someone else that didn't experience these things. But for me, it just gets lonely.

So what kind of dreams do you have and do you think they mean anything? Have you had them your whole life? I dream every night and remember all of them...... even when I nap for only 15 minutes, I dream and it's always really intense....

Tess
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Sep 04, 2010 2:42 pm

Re: Can someone explain any of this? Or relate?

Post by Tess »

hi annlee stop worrying you are not alone.I have been able to remember dreams since a child.
Some times more then just one dream,in reality every one dreams but not every one can remember.
I have funny dreams,strange dreams,frightening ones or just plain stupid.!
There are dreams which when i do wake up wonder if they do have a meaning especially the ones were i see every were flooded by sea water.
Or a ball of fire coming down from the sky.
The last one i had was seeing the sun acting in a strange way.

Nobody in my family cares what i dream about and i have stopped describing them.
But most of the dreams don't really have any meaning,it's just the brain conjuring up a story some times logic goes out of the window were dreams are concerned.

It's ok if you are not understood,sure we do wish some one would stop and listen but so what if no one does!

Let me tell you a story-when i was still in primary school the teacher told us to write about a dream we had,some children had to make it up but i had dreamed about our pet cat and so wrote it down.During break the teachers were in the class room and my teacher was reading my dream.

They could not stop laughing but i felt like crying they saw it as a funny dream but it was not funny to me.Now many yrs later when i remember i can smile about it perhaps for grownups it was funny after all!!

I have had flying dreams,dinosaurs running after me,once i even turned into a werewolf!
Pls you are not crazy neither am i the only difference is i do not expect any one to understand my dreams and frankly i don't care.
They are my special dreams and i'm glad that i wake up and say''Wow that was one hell of a dream.'' Take care and if you want to answer back i would be more then pleased.

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Bonnie Jean Mitchell
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Re: Can someone explain any of this? Or relate?

Post by Bonnie Jean Mitchell »

Hello Annlee,
Wow. You sound a lot like me. And I did actually write a book about it. :D I recorded my dreams in notebooks for many years and got them all together and wrote a book. You can read about it here: Invitation to the Self; journey with the star people.

You are more in touch with what is REAL than anyone else around you. I also see the glimmering flashes of light, sometimes gold, sometimes white, sometimes blue. I have always seen them.

I guess what's most important for you right now is to protect your children. This type of experience can run in family lines. You can visualize a protective bubble of white light energy around your kids before they go to sleep at night. Keep a night light on for them, and always listen to what they say, take them seriously (I know you do), and comfort them. The more you visualize the protection, the stronger it will become. You can try out the meditation I made for Grounding, Centering, and Shielding. It is about 30 minutes long, and it will teach you how to do the protective bubble of light around your kids.

We are all going through serious changes right now, as the whole planet moves into a new state of conscious awareness and we WAKE UP from the dream we've been in. It has been forced upon us by the negative forces that control the planet, but this is changing now. Most people are still asleep because they are hypnotized by their televisions, movies, and the deceitful media. Just search your heart for the truth.

And, yes, you do have the power to control the weather or whatever else you put your mind to, because you are creating your own reality with your own thoughts everyday.

Many Blessings, Bonnie
Hidden Knowledge Every Person Should Know: AWAKENVIDEO.ORG

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