How Can I Remember?

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ManhattanSkyline
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How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

It's really been eating me lately that I can't remember a lot, especially my childhood experiences. It's like those experiences purposefully burrow deep for ages and when I remember an odd event I think, "Oh my god, how could I have forgotten that?!" So at least I've been re-remembering what I've forgotten, but I'm not remembering what I never remembered. Ok, I don't think I'm making sense.

For example, I remember the beginning and the end of an abduction experience when I was 6 or 7, but I don't remember what happened in the middle at all. I never did. But I desperately want to know.

I just re-remembered an event last night that I couldn't believe I had forgotten. This happened to my sisters, too. They and my mom can corroborate. We were spending the night at a friends place in the country. My mom was friends with their mom and my sisters were friends with her daughters. It was a nice warm summer night, and the parents let us spend the night outside in our sleeping bags on the trampoline. I wasn't in school yet. I had to have been about four years old. I remember playing, and then I remember we were all lying down in our sleeping bags but still talking. Then we all looked up at the same time to see a bolt of lightning come down directly above us. Just before it was about to strike us, the bolt divided into several different arms that branched down around the trampoline and struck the ground. I could feel the intense heat of the flash on my face. After the lightning disappeared, a loud thunderclap sounded; I could feel the sound waves hit my chest. We all got up screaming in panic, banging on the door until our moms let us in. I don't know. I just feel in my gut that something more happened that night. I think there was a time discrepancy. While we were talking just before the lightning flash it was still a little light out; it was twilight. But directly after the lightning flash when we got down from the trampoline and ran to the house, it was suddenly pitch dark, and it began to rain. I remember two different outcomes when we ran to the house. I remember I was one of the last to get down from the trampoline because I was small and the height scared me. I remember seeing the others run ahead of me and begin banging on the sliding door of the house. In one outcome, I remember my mom getting mad at first because she thought we had stayed up late and scared ourselves telling scary stories. I remember her looking at her watch saying it was 11pm and scolding us. I remember feeling guilty and in awe because I had never been up that late. But once she began to see the fear in our eyes, she began to believe us. It was like our parents didn't believe us at first. Didn't they hear the boom? But in the second outcome, I remember them rushing to the door and asking us what happened because they heard the loud boom. I don't know which memory is the truth. Whoa, I just remembered that while it was still twilight and we were talking we saw some lights in some clouds above the tree line across the field. It's hard to remember the lights. I want to say it was lighting in some thunderclouds, but I also remember pink and green lights, more like a swarm of glowing balls of light than lightning, but am I making that up? It's so fuzzy! Grrrr!!!!

I really want to remember this one because I've recently had an epic dream about getting struck by lightning and UFOs. I think the dream is trying to connect me to that event, so I wish I could remember it.

How can I remember? Are there any tricks to bringing back lost memories? There are no hypnotists in my neck of the woods. If I'm to remember something, I'm on my own. Help!

ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

I wanted to add some more. I just want to put these thoughts in writing all in one place. It helps me wrap my head around it all.

I was able to talk with my sisters tonight about the lightning incident on the trampoline.....very interesting is all I can say. One of my sisters remembers the lightning incident on the trampoline; the other doesn't, and we found out that was because she had decided to sleep indoors that night so she wasn't there when it happened. But here's were it gets interesting. One of my sisters brought back a memory of the SAME thing happening during the day while we were swimming in a horse trough. Apparently, that was why I remembered two different outcomes because there were two separate occasions where this lightning phenomena happened. As she talked about it, I began to remember bits of it. I was even younger when the horse trough incident happened. This is what happened:

We were swimming in a round metal horse trough at the same friends house. It was a hot summer afternoon. Just like the trampoline incident, we all looked up at the same time to see a bright mass of lightning coming down right over our heads. The lightning was purple. I remember the purple. My sister said she remember the lightning looked like a mass, like a big trunk or pillar of twisted lightning coming down (which is funny b/c I used to draw lightning like that when I was a kid). Just like the trampoline incident, the lightning branched off just over our heads and struck the ground (not the metal trough thank god) around us. What is strange is this happened during the day, and there were no storm clouds above us--my mom remembered this because she thought it was so unusual. My sister remembers the flash was so bright that we couldn't see for a long time, and we just sat in the trough screaming until we could see again. Then my sister says, "Ah, I just now remember when I got my sight back, I saw the same pillar of purple lightning but now it had flown over the field."

"Flown over the field"?! Does that make sense? She admitted it made no sense. Does any of this make sense?! What are the chances that we almost get struck by lightning TWICE and the lightning splits over our heads and strikes the ground around us in the same way...TWICE. No, this is just too weird. I'm beginning to wonder if something else was really happening and the image of the lightning was something like a "screen" image you hear other abductees talking about. I wish I could remember.

ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Sorry. I thought I should add one more thing. Again, this is more for my benefit. I want to get it all in writing in one spot.

I want to go ahead and describe my recent lightning dream because I'm starting to wonder if it's related to these childhood memories I'm digging up.

To start out, I've been having a lot of dreams about death for almost a year now. Last summer I had a series of three dreams where I had died in the first week of June. The past couple of months I've had a series of 3 dreams that have to do with death. From what I've researched about death dreams, to dream that you die doesn't necessarily mean you are literally going to die. Death in dreams means big change. So I'm hoping these dreams mean a big breakthrough is coming.

Here I'll just describe the 2nd dream. It has to do with lightning and UFOs n stuff. Here goes:

It started out with me exiting a large building onto a large circular white-gravel parking lot. I looked around, and the building was right next to a lake. There were three other people that walked out with me. There was a young teenager, a six or seven year old, and a toddler. I can guess that they are supposed to represent different aspects of me.

It was getting dark; it was twilight. And as I looked toward the horizon, I could see a huge storm was rolling in. There was a fantastic lightning display, and it was getting quite close. I noticed that there weren't any trees around where we were in the parking lot, so I was about to tell the kids to go inside so we wouldn't risk getting struck by lightning. Just as I had that thought, I got struck by lightning! I could feel the heat and everything.

The next thing I know, I'm lying on my back in the parking lot watching smoke waft up from my burnt body. I wondered if I was dead. I remember thinking, "I hope it wasn't one of those gross lightning deaths where your insides are cooked and come out your mouth." Suddenly I see a huge circular UFO pass over me and hover. A small circular opening in the bottom of the UFO opened up and a large column of light shone on me. I shut my eyes and let whatever needed to happen, happen. I felt that "they" had shown up to heal me or adjust my body somehow so that the lightning strike wouldn't kill me.

The next thing I know I'm standing up in the place where I was struck, completely fine, UFO now gone. (Here's the neat part.) Now I look at the horizon again and I see ladders or staircases floating in sky, tons of them. They are blowing in fast like clouds. It's kind of hard to describe, but they were pieces of staircases. Each piece was made up of a wooden stair and a metal stair that were joined in the middle by a hinge. There were tons of these in the sky floating in, and as they were floating in they were rotating and connecting with each other, end to end, like puzzle pieces locking together. As they floated directly above me, I could see them rotate and lock into place. There were so many of them; they went miles into the sky. I really wish I could describe this. It was incredible. It was like looking into an M. C. Escher drawing with these stair pieces twisting and interlocking. I clearly see this structure going up miles into the sky into infinity; my vision was so clear and sharp in the dream. I really wish a computer artist could recreate what I saw. I suddenly had the thought that this thing was creating a stairway to heaven, and if I could get on it somehow I could climb and keep climbing straight into heaven.

There was a lake house nearby that was several stories high. Myself and the three (the teenager, child, and toddler) ran to the house. We were going to climb to the roof and try to connect with one of the ladders as this huge structure was floating by. The teenager and the child ran past me; they were so brave and eager for adventure. They ran up the house stairs towards the roof. But the toddler was crying and scared. It didn't understand what was happening, and since the other two weren't comforting the child, I felt I should stop and care for the child; although, I really wanted to not miss the ladders. After just a few minutes, the other two came walking back down the stairs. I asked them if they had been able to connect with the stairway on the roof, and they said "No." The ladders had all vanished by the time they had reached the roof.

That was the end of the dream. From what I can tell the lightning strike and ladders/stairway are indicative of spiritual transformation or growth, but I think the crying toddler shows that there's some part of me that's afraid of what's up there. I think some of my earliest experiences will hold the most trauma. I think I'm going to have to be very patient and careful as I remember these experiences, especially the earliest ones. They may bring up some old scars that are a part of my core now.

ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Ok sorry! Sorry! Writing that last bit made me think about an old memory that has always haunted me. All I remember is just this one image from my childhood, but there is such strong intense emotion connected to it, I've never forgotten it. I've written music about--the emotion of that event was so strong and unforgettable.

All I remember is this: I was very young. We were still living at my dad's farm, before the divorce, so I had to have been 5 or younger. I was at least of the toddling age because I was standing just outside the gate to the chicken yard. I was so little, I wasn't as tall as the gate. I'll I remember is standing at that spot and looking up and to the right at the space of sky just above the roof line of the chicken house. That's it. But the emotion tied to that memory is what I've never forgotten and what has always haunted me. I remember looking up at the sky there and feeling like I had lost everything. Complete and utter grief, like someone had died but it was me. I had lost something. And somehow I was trapped or stuck and couldn't get it back. The world had suddenly changed. It was like I had been shut out of paradise. Irretrievable loss. It makes no sense. I just remember the feeling, but I don't remember the context of the feeling. I don't remember what happened before or after standing in that spot and looking at that spot in the sky. I don't remember why I felt that way.

I know there was a day when I went missing for an entire day. My mother called all the neighbors out and the police to look for me. She finally found me playing by the well house, which is in the back yard. They walked all around the well house and that area all day and hadn't seen me before then. I never responded to their cries or went in the house to eat or use the bathroom all day, so it was just a big mystery as to where I had been. I don't remember that day at all. I always wondered if I hadn't been taken. That piece of memory might have happened that day, but I don't know for sure.

ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

I recently had a chance to drive by the place where the lightning strike events happened when I was a kid. As I did, some pictures came up fast and quick into my mind.

I suddenly vividly remembered being in a white round room. The corners to the room were smooth. In other words, the room wasn't shaped like a cylinder. It was more shaped like a disc or like a diamond with rounded ends. The room had single pillar in the middle of it. Again there were no hard corners. Everything about the room shape was smooth and tapered. I mostly remember the feeling in that room. I had the feeling that it was like a play room. I would play in that room with lots of other children. I specifically remember crawling up into the edge of the room--the small, rounded space where the ceiling and floor met--and touching it with my hands because I thought it was so cool the way the room was shaped and I remember crawling up into that space to take a nap. I loved that room, not just because I got to play but because it felt so safe and womb-like. Is this the memory of being on a space ship?

Also, as I was driving past the edge of the property, I came upon this place on the dirt road where there are two trees on either side of the road that branch over and meet to make a canopy over that portion of the road. This is the spot over which we saw the lightning/lights in the distance from the trampoline. When I was 12 or 13 I had a series of related dreams every night of visiting the same town, but going to different houses every night and finding kids to play with and tell stories to. But that's another story. While I was having these dreams, whenever I would "switch dream scenes" (you know how one dream can switch scenes several times), I would find myself running down a dirt road at night. I see a barbed wire fence and tall Johnson grass, but when I look forward, I see these two trees making an arch over the road, and as soon as I reach that place in the road, there's a bright flash, and I find myself transported to a different "dream scene." This happened every night for a week. Then as I was driving, I remembered an oooold dream. I had this dream way before the others. In this dream, I was traveling down this same dark, dirt road headed for the arch under the trees. When I made it to that spot, there was a bright flash of light, and I saw myself on a beautiful grassy hillside with a bunch of other children. It was so bright, it was really hard to see. I was so happy because these were all nice, happy children that I knew well. I knew I was safe with them; they wouldn't bully me or pick fights. I remember the dream mostly because of the feeling I felt. It felt like coming home and reuniting with old friends.

These memories and dreams make me start to wonder if when I was taken as a kid if I wasn't taken along with a bunch of other children at the same time. I've heard of people getting abducted in groups and going through different learning and testing scenarios with other abductees. I wonder if I was a part of a regular sample group.

ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Continuing this long conversation with myself...

I now know why my earliest experiences were so traumatic. But the trauma didn't have anything to do with the star people. It had to do with flesh and blood humans. Been having dreams and I guess you could say "body memories."

I always wondered if it were true. I always knew it was a possibility, but now I kinda know. Needless to say, I've been an emotional wreck. Just feeling raw. The memory doesn't change anything, but it does explain a lot.

I now know why my earliest abduction experiences were so traumatic. It was because I was already traumatized, and I was projecting my fear from my experiences onto them, but I know now they weren't the culprit. I'm glad I was gotten out of that situation at such a young age; although, it did plenty of damage that is now, unfortunately, a part of my core. It taints how I see everything. It always has. Now I know why they are taking it slow with me. I'm more emotionally volatile than I realize or care to admit. Gonna rest now.

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Bonnie Jean Mitchell
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by Bonnie Jean Mitchell »

Hi Manhattan,
WOW. You really like writing, don't you? :lol:

You said:
I now know why my earliest abduction experiences were so traumatic. It was because I was already traumatized, and I was projecting my fear from my experiences onto them, but I know now they weren't the culprit.
THankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou.

You got it.

I am reading through your posts and will answer in more detail a.s.a.p.!

Many Blessings, Bonnie
Hidden Knowledge Every Person Should Know: AWAKENVIDEO.ORG

ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

I know. Sorry for writing so much. :oops:

Things just start to make sense when I start writing them down. Really, don't feel obligated to respond to every post I make. Mostly, I'm just rambling for my own sake...just thinking out loud. But, seriously, don't feel obligated. I'm not here to make more work for you. Just trying to figure things out, and sometimes that includes rambling to myself.

P.S.--Your book came in the mail yesterday, and I immediately started reading. I've already started underlining a bunch of good stuff. Thank you for being willing to put your experiences out in public like this. You are a life saver to lots of folks who don't have anywhere else to turn. Thank you!

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Bonnie Jean Mitchell
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by Bonnie Jean Mitchell »

How to Remember Visitations:
The best method is to keep a dream journal by your bedside. In the morning, write down anything you can remember, even if it is just a feeling. After training your brain to do this for a couple months, you will begin to have really good, clear dream recall. From your dreams, you will begin to notice symbols and patterns that repeat themselves. Then you can start your own dream dictionary of symbolism, all personal to you. This can help you figure out problems in your daily life. Sometimes, when something happens over and over again, even in a dream, your higher self is trying to teach you a lesson; after you learn the lesson, you will move on and that particular dream pattern will stop. You may also notice a rather odd type of dream that doesn't fit in with the other, regular dream patterns. Here is where the realm of the visitation comes in. It will be a very real, vivid experience that happens while your body is asleep. You will be able to tell that it stands out, different from the rest, as you will be having a very aware, consciousness interaction with entities from another place.

The best way to recall is to keep track of what happens when you go to sleep.

If you want to remember an experience that already happened, you must meditate on it and earnestly want to remember...but it may take some time if your mind is blocking the memory until a better time, when you can handle the information in a better way.

Many Blessings, Bonnie
Hidden Knowledge Every Person Should Know: AWAKENVIDEO.ORG

ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Thanks for the advice, Bonnie. I've been keeping my phone by my bed and using the voice memo recording feature to record any vivid or strange dreams or experiences before I pass out in sleep again. I didn't realize how much I forget of my dreams in the night because I'm so sleepy. The phrase "I've slept since then" as an excuse for forgetting things really rings true.

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Bonnie Jean Mitchell
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by Bonnie Jean Mitchell »

Hi Manhattan,

I was reading about your experience on the spaceship when you noticed how the walls and floor rounded where they met and it was such a nice smooth place that you fell asleep there. That's a great memory, good detail. The fact that other children were around is a sign that you were involved in the "testing" that the star people do with young children. They do psychic tests to see which kids are the most psychically talented and then they keep working with those kids throughout the years as they grow up and become adults. I know someone who was on a spaceship as a kid, with other kids, and they were all given a task to do, like putting together a puzzle or some mental test like that. Well, this person failed the test and they told him they wouldn't be needing his help. He never saw them again!

Have you had much luck in recording your dreams?
You should always try to record them as soon as they happen. If it happens at 3am, you've got to record it a 3am or you will forget most of it by morning. The more you practice recalling your dreams and recording them, the easier it will be every morning to have conscious recall.

I also wanted to ask if you figured out the death dreams you had, since it's June now.

Many Blessings, Bonnie
Hidden Knowledge Every Person Should Know: AWAKENVIDEO.ORG

ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Bonnie,

Where to start? There's so much that has happened. The June-Death dreams have definitely come to fruition. It's like a dormant part of me has opened up and been reawakened. I've been having intense experiences, mostly spiritual in nature, I guess you could say. There hasn't been any abrupt "abduction" experiences recently, but suddenly I have been able to see spirits and understand and navigate the spirit world in a way I never have before. And it's like the spirit world has been leeching into this reality, too, like the line between my "dreams/experiences" and "reality" is really thin. Some nights are so magical that I forget I'm not in the spirit world but am in the physical; the line between the two has become so thin.

I really think the whole lightning motif from the dreams did represent a sudden flash of insight that would bring death (change). Part of that insight is being reminded of my childhood experiences, being in the room with other children, and remembering how I used to pretend I was a flying horse as a child and the sudden "you have wings" episode that brought back that memory with a vengeance that I wrote about in "Last Night." I feel like the child part of me that had those experiences and visions is being re-awakened, like it's time to continue my schooling.

Part of that schooling has been a new-found spirituality with which I have been re-connecting recently. I had always had an interest in shamanism. My childhood ability of going into a trance state while listening to music and imagining that other world the flying horse would always take me to always sounded a bit shamanic to me, but I never really considered myself as a shaman. I wasn't really sensitive to the spirit world...until now. I was reading in a book that was kind of like shamanism for beginners, and it was talking about shape-shifting into your spirit animal. Suddenly it made me think of my childhood fantasy of riding a flying white horse and the "man" who came up behind me and reminded me that I "have wings," and how I felt wild, like an animal in part of that abduction experience (see "Last Night" entry). So it made me wonder.... I bought some shamanic drumming tracks on my phone and decided to follow the directions in the book for shape-shifting into my spirit animal and going on a journey. It was intense! It was so easy for me to fall under and shape-shift. I had done it a thousand times as a child! And really it felt like I had done this journeying thing lots of times in other lifetimes, too. I won't describe the entire journey, but it was intense, and a week later I stumbled upon objects and symbols in real life that I had seen in my journey the week before. Since that experience, please don't think I'm weird, but I've been seeing spirits...and understanding them. Suddenly I can tell which ones are helpful, which ones are trouble-makers, and which ones are simply there to look around, and that includes star people, not just spirits, because the line between them is very fine. Some star people are just spirits that know how to move in our reality as well as others.

One thing that has accelerated this explosion of perception is the addition of a roommate. I've lived with my best friend before but not for several months. He needed a place to stay in the summer months, so I told him to move on in. He has always been able to see spirits very easily, has since he was a child. I had always relied on him for spiritual insight. But now, it's like we are learning the same things together. He sees UFO's and has experiences, too; although, he's much more aware of the spiritual side and intent of those he sees. I'm thinking he may have been trained by the star people when he was young, too. You know that world the flying horse used to take me to when I was a kid? I found out that he used to dream of the same exact same place. We would take turns describing and drawing pictures of it and yelling at each other "That's it! That's the place!" So now I'm wondering if what I saw when I was a kid was more like a vision of a real place either on this plane or the spirit plane that the star people showed me.

I've also been recording my dreams, but the weird thing is my roommate is the one that's been having most of the crazy dreams. What makes them so crazy is that I've dreamed the same dreams. He will sit down and describe the dream and draw a picture of the landscape, and before he can finish the drawing, I'll describe how the rest of the place looks dead on. For example, we've both had ufo dreams. What happens in the dream is slightly different, but the dreamscape, the place where it happens, is identical. I had a ufo dream years ago where I was in front of a white clapboard house looking over a field, and saw ufo lights over the field. In his dream he was in front of the same white house but saw two tornados with lights in them. In my dream I knew the aliens had landed in the barn which was behind and to the left of the house if you are facing the house. In my dream I bravely went in the barn and saw a large letter "F" descend from the hayloft, which makes me think of the German drawings in the other forum. In my roommate's dream, he said the ufo's landed by the barn that happened to be in the same place in my dream, only he was too afraid to go to the barn. He went around to the side of the house and found a rabbit in a cage, took it out of the cage, and held it and comforted it. It's like we are visiting the same places in our dreams like they are really actual places, at least real on the spirit plane.

We are seeing the same spirits in my apartment; that lets me know that it's not just my imagination b/c he can see them, too. We will also go for drives at night just to get out of the house and talk, and we will get to talking about our dreams and the things we are learning and see lights in the sky around us that show up as if to confirm certain things. We will dream of symbols and things only to find in our research that they are real symbols that come from old esoteric religions. Norse mythology and Nordic runes have been showing up in our dreams like crazy, and neither of us knew anything about these things before we dreamed them. There's so much that has been happening; there's no way to tell it all.

But one last thing--the first week of June. It was a dark night in the first week of June, and a series of intense lightning storms were blowing in over the area. We have been having an inordinately large amount of lightning storms this year in our area--no hail, no tornadoes, not even much rain, but INTENSE lightning shows. Well, on this night in the first week of June, we got in the car to go storm chasing because we were bored and just love storms. Not only can my roommate see spirits easily, but he's what you might call a weather witch. He seems to respond to weather easily and weather seems to respond easily to him, so we were having a bit of fun and talking about the things we were learning and revelations we were having. As we were driving into this small town over which seemed to be the bulk of the storm clouds, we could see two ufo's hovering over the town. They were very high up in the sky, just below the clouds. They were each made up of a cluster of amber lights. I couldn't really see the body of the craft, even in lightning flash, because they were so high up. I could guess they were disc like in that the lights seemed to be several amber lights clustered close together in a straight line. Every once in a while I could see a red light on top as if the disk were tilting. These ufo's hovered in the sky the whole time. One was sitting in the sky to the north of town, and the other was directly opposite in the south. They were about a mile apart just hovering over the town like silent sentinels as the lightning flashed all around. We took a different highway out of town, moving away from the ufo's. I noticed that one of them trailed us for several miles as I would always see it over my shoulder from the driver's side window. Then I began to talk about the ufo/lightning dream I had. My dream was more symbolic but the meaning of the dream was expressing itself. I was being transformed by all of this new insight. I am definitely experiencing a break through. Also, in one of the death dreams, I dreamed I was dead and trying to communicate to this same roommate friend outside of this dilapidated over-grown house. Last week, I went to help him get some stuff out of storage. His family owned a run-down house in town that they had been using for storage. When we drove up, I got chills. It looked EXACTLY like the house in my dream. It had the same dead tree under which I had tried to communicate with my friend. It was the same time of day, too. I told him about the dream and got the heebie geebies. I am not literally dead, but I am become more spirit, and I can navigate and interact on both planes now. Bits and pieces of those dreams are leeching through this reality, but the message is the same. I am seeing and experiencing the world in a way I never have before, and I will never be the same.

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Bonnie Jean Mitchell
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by Bonnie Jean Mitchell »

Hi Manhatten,
Wow, that is so awesome! You are really learning and growing a lot. I have noticed the shifting also...the physical world becoming more blended with the spirit world. And it's so cool you have your roommate to collaborate with. I am glad to hear about your progress and how the "death" dreams really meant an enlightenment for you.

The energies are most definitely shifting, and those of us who are waking up (becoming consciously aware) are seeing this happen. My dreams have always worked with my daily life, but now it is more so than ever. Whether I am awake or asleep, I seem to be working on the same projects and bringing the information over with me.

Cool UFO sighting you and your roommate had. John and I actually had a silent white light fly low over our house last night after talking about the star people.

Many Blessings, Bonnie
Hidden Knowledge Every Person Should Know: AWAKENVIDEO.ORG

ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Something is definitely happening, and it's kind of freaking me out because it's not just "spiritual;" it's manifesting in the physical world too. But I'm freaking in a good way, I guess. It's cool but crazy!

I've been seeing this same being again...the one who grabbed me and said "you have wings." He's been showing up in my room a lot. I call him "the man" or "my man". I really think he is serving the role of teacher for me right now. Without his "you have wings" experience, I never would have rediscovered shapeshifting and journeying. FYI, I always said he had a "bulbous" head, really it's not round vertically like a light bulb; it's really elongated. He reminds me of something Egyptian, like the long, oval like crowns the pharaohs used to wear on their heads, except it's not a hat for him; it's his actual head. The cranium is elongated toward the back of the head if that makes sense. The face is regular size although there's no visible ears or nose and his jaw seems long and thin. I've never really seen his eyes. I only see his outline in shadow. Maybe my mind is not ready to see him as he is. He is tall, maybe 6-6 1/2 feet. His body is thin and lanky. He may actually have claws on his fingers, but he doesn't have 5 like ours. He has less. I think just four fingers.

But something else happened, on July 4th actually. Well, let me back up a little before that. My roommate and I sometimes go for walks late at night. The street I live on ends a few blocks down; it turns into a small dirt road that goes into a large field; there's a baseball field there as well. Well, we walked down to that dirt road point and both of us saw a wire fence stretching across the road barring our way. So we stopped just short of the fence and talked a while. Although it looked like a square-patterned wire fence, it looked like it was made out of shadow. I kept expecting to see some metallic glint from the street lights behind us, but no matter how I looked at it, the fence remained matte, shadow-like. I asked my roommate if the fence was really there. He saw it too clear as day. I reached out my hand to touch it and watched my hand go completely through it. Within a couple of seconds the fence completely disappeared; it just faded out after I "touched" it. It simply wasn't there at all anymore. We were freaking out. We both saw it, and we both saw it disappear before our eyes.

Back to the night of July 4th or rather the wee hours of the 5th: We went for a walk again. My roommate was agitated because of some stupid petty stuff his ex had done. We went for a walk to let off steam. We walked to the same place where we had seen the fence the first time. No fence this time. But we stood there and talked a while, but I kept getting this strong urge to do something. So I told my friend I really felt like I needed to do something but not to judge me cuz it would look crazy, lol. He told me to do what I felt. I kept feeling that entity close by, like I needed to call him. I remember when he had visited me in my bedroom one night that as I was waking up to his presence in my room, I was hearing a strange whistling sound come from my own mouth. Well, I decided to replicate this whistling sound in an effort to call him. I did the whistling thing three times. I had my eyes closed the entire time. On the third time, he was there! It felt like he was super-imposed on me, and he wanted to show me how to do something. His hands were in my hands. I had NO idea what I was doing. All of it was 100% intuitive. The first thing I did was I flung what looked like ribbons of orange fire-like energy from my hands. I flung it all the way past the horizon, then over to the horizon in the opposite direction and then crosswise to all of the four directions. Then I placed my hands downward over the earth and felt like I was pushing this immense energy down into the earth with my hands, legs, and feet while feeling the energy of the whole earth in my hands at the same time. Then while I had my hands down, palms down to the earth, I shift my hands one quarter turn counter clockwise, west to south. It felt like I had the whole earth under my hands and that I had shifted the energy the entire earth. I had absolutely no idea what I had done or what any of it meant. I just had the feeling the shifting motion was a necessary adjustment for balance and justice if that makes any sense. Afterwards my roommate said he didn't know what I did but he could feel it and it was pretty powerful. I had no idea what I had done either. I just felt an inexplicable need to do it. It was the most energy-packed thing I had ever done. And after it was done, the entity was gone. Then I got home and read on the internet that what I had done was called "calling the corners" and "grounding and centering". Still not sure what the counterclockwise shifting motion was about, but I thought it was pretty cool that I did something I had never heard of before only to find out later it was a real spiritual practice.

As we were walking back after that experience, there was a corner under a street light a block down on a nearby street that caught my roommate's eye. We walked over to it, and it was so strange! I don't know how to describe it. The light was different. The trees were different. The road was different. My roommate could see it and sense it too. There was so much detail to the cracks in the road and the leaves on the trees. It's like that spot was exuding energy. It felt absolutely magical. I would like to point out that we were NOT under the influence of any substance. It was completely noticeable. We didn't just sense the difference; we actually saw it with our physical eyes. There was something special and unique about that spot. My roommate felt that it was like a doorway had opened up and this place was where two worlds were overlapping. I can't emphasize how unusual the light was. So hard to describe it. Everything in that spot looked DIFFERENT, not how normal earth stuff looks. We puzzled over it. At one point we were standing side by side and felt a cold swish of wind pass between us as if someone had come behind us and walked between us. We both felt it at the same time. It wasn't the wind. It was localized, just right next to us. We eventually left. As we were walking home we passed under another streetlight. It was the same type of streetlight so I wanted to test it and see if this street light gave the same effect on the trees and street as the other. Everything looked dull compared to that other spot. A few nights later we walked back to that same spot under the street lamp, and it looked nothing like it had that first night. The leaves, the road, the light were all dull and bland compared to what we saw that night. There was no comparison.

What really gets me about all this is that it's not just spiritual philosophy. This shit is REAL! I am seeing this stuff with my physical eyes while I'm wide awake, and so is my roommate, so I know I'm not crazy. Also, this entity isn't just some spirit or hallucination. He has been physically in my room. I have been suddenly awakened in the night just like in an abduction experience. I have felt him grab me, felt his hands on my arms. Even heard a real-life electronic buzzing sound in my room for minutes after he left and I was fully awake and walking around while this sound got intensely loud. Although, I want to emphasize that this being is not entirely physical either. He has abilities and can appear as a spirit as well. It's like he can walk in both worlds. I'm not afraid of him, though. I actually get a really good vibe from him. He's not trying to take advantage or manipulate me. In fact, I tried to replicate some of what I did on the dirt road again; I asked him for his help, and he flat out said, "No." He had already shown me how to do it; he wanted me to do it all myself now. This shows me he really wants to teach me, help me find my own energy and connection.

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Incidentally, I kind of sent the "man" that was teaching me on his way. I really wanted to find out why he took it upon himself to teach me the things he was teaching me. Well, I got the impression that he had his own reasons for teaching me, his own agenda, and he wasn't really interested in helping me attain my goals I had for myself. So, I thought why should I invest in his goals when he won't invest in mine? Didn't seem very respectable to me. So I told him he could move along. Haven't seen him since. I'm glad I did it. Lots of stuff out there. Can't trust all of it. I'll find what I need to fulfill my dreams on my own. I'd rather receive help from someone who's compassionate and wants the happiness for me what I want for myself. Anything else seems suspicious and presumptuous to me. It's hard to find good help these days, and it's ESPECIALLY hard to find someone who believes in you.

CatnessGrace
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2014 2:09 am

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by CatnessGrace »

Hi there Manhatten Skyline-your post about your experience outside the chicken house,was the reason I joined this site.I had a very similar experience at the age of 3-4.I went into my adoptive mother's chicken run that morning,where a horrible feeling suddenly came over me-same as you felt.And anger,so much anger-and being angry that I was a freak and would never be like other people.I was angry for being singled out and victimised-so many intricate feelings and emotions for such a young child.I sustained such psychological and emotional trauma in childhood that it took me decades to recover,for the most part.

On that day,while in the grip of this horrible feeling,and the anger,I remember looking up at the sky-i remember the sun seeming very bright-and then I blacked out-on my feet.When I came to,idk how much later,I was still on my feet.But now there was a dead chicken at my feet,one of my mother's red hens.I recall bending over it in horrified fascination-and seeing just one single drop of blood coming out of one of it's eyes.I did'nt have a clue what just happened to me,and left,with a sick feeling to down in my soul.

Another unforgettable and inexplicable experience occured some time after that,I was around 5.I remember sitting in the hallway outside the kitchen.A hand passing me a coloring book,open to a page with a rooster with flamboyant tail,on the left page.And a box of crayons.I cannot recall a face,just the hand,a man's hand passing me the book and crayons.I start coloring the rooster's tail,making every feather a different color.Suddenly it's like 3 things are happening at the same time-i am being lifted up and away from the book,from behind.I can see the sky through the ceiling.Third thing that was happening simultaneously,I am floating above the kitchen door,outside,about 6 or 7 feet up-and I am under a brown sky with a ketchup-red moon(or sun or planetoid)

Then nothing,till the next memory I have is my adoptive mother and me in the kitchen.The house feels weird,there's this greenish-blueish quality to the light,my memory of this is strange-the world felt "off" in a way I can't even describe.I ask my mother where the coloringbook is so I can finish my coloring.She looks at me in this absolutely hate-filled way,and sneers at me:"Well,it would have disappeared off the planet now,would'nt it?" She seemed to be simmering with resentment,anger-and it felt directed at me (I was adopted under irregular and unethical circumstances,back in 1965,into a strange family)

Being South African,I only realised in recent years that I am an abductee.I ascribed all the paranormal stuff,high strangeness etc as demonic activity,curses,etc.I have had many ufo sightings in the past few years also,after a huge "awakening" around the middle of 2011.It was like I was wandering cluelessly in the dark.even after I started having regular ufo sightings,and some weird experiences.Untill one morning our household woke up,to a sense that something happened in the night.My daughter's bedroom window was wide open,after I had personally closed it firmly the previous night,there had been a violent thunderstorm the previous night,driving rain,thunder-and it was Still going on by that morning,when she woke from the cold,from the open window.

The husband and myself had splitting headaches,I was very nauseous and vomiting-and for the 1st time in my life I had a compulsion to learn about alien abduction.Which I did-and for the first time,there was a cohesive explanation for all the strangeness in my life,the inexplicable memories,the bruises and marks I did not go to bed with,but woke up with.Once I woke up to find myself bedridden in severe pain and discomfort from a damaged upper back muscle(and under my mouth,a birthmarklike bruise,like a portwine stain.That faded through the day and evening,to leave behind a needlemark or puncture.

I've had dreams of doctors and medical personnel,being in strange medical facilities,one inside a huge hangar,and what looked like a Grey,near the end of the dream.Also a dream of a hospital where I was injected in my right arm,with extremely futuristic medical equipment.That dream also involved me giving birth.The next day,my right arm was so sore I could hardly use it-pins+needles,a very heavy dead feeling,very painful-and I bled for nine days,in the womanly way.I have a tattoo on that spot where I was injected in the dream,but it looks like there is a mark inside it.

But my first experiences of the totally inexplicable and surreal episodes,way back in my childhood,both involve chickens,in some way or the other.Which brought me to a googlesearch of "alien abduction chickens" and your post.I was wondering if any other abductees have had any experiences that may also involve chickens-because these events scarred me deeply.I will never completely recover-and the worst is I can't even remember what exactly happened.What is hidden from my recall.Maybe in a way that's for the best,especially the blackout experience,when something killed the poor chicken

Blessings and best wishes,I am very sorry for the pain you felt that day,I felt it too,so I know what a hideous feeling it is.There has been a soul-deep feeling of loneliness and isolation,even among people,even close people.I guess I've never felt like a member of the human race,not even for one day,and I never will.I really just want to get this trainwreck of an incarnation over and done with.

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Hi, CatnessGrace.

I sincerely apologize for not giving a reply sooner. I've had a very rough summer. I actually acquired a memory from my early childhood that put me into a bit of an emotional tailspin. And, to tell you the truth, every time I thought of writing a reply it felt like something was holding me back as if I was forbidden to tell. I still feel highly uncomfortable writing this, but I am determined to push forward despite my irrational feeling.

First, I want to thank you for sharing honestly your difficult experiences. To tell you the truth, it was quite emotional for me to read your post because so much of it was like reading about myself. Thank you for telling me about your intense emotional experience that seemed to have no context. I know that feeling so well, and putting in the context of a chicken yard is just a little too close for comfort. I remember being such a loner as a child, preferred to play alone. I remember irrational bouts of anger that my mother could not understand, nor could I. I remember getting so angry one day that I walked to the end of our long drive way and paced back in forth in front of the property seething with anger. I hated my family because they wouldn't "help me." It felt like the world was caving in on me, and they didn't understand why I was so upset. My mother just lectured me about how ugly anger was and how much God didn't like it. I remember feeling so different and so distant from them. I remember as I was pacing thinking, "I'll show them. I'll forget them!" I remember trying to hold that day and my family in my mind very lightly, purposely trying to forget them. Why did I think I could forget my family? Why did I think forgetting was a solution? Forgetting was like my superpower. If I didn't like you, I could erase you from existence. Sometimes life is so hard.

I also had an incident involving dead chickens. I remember waking up one morning and following my dad out to the chicken barn. I always followed him around while he did his chores. I was too little to do much else. I remember it was a very cold winter morning. I remember there was excitement. It was Christmas Eve morning, and I was very excited for tomorrow. But when my dad and I entered the chicken yard, there were dead chicken bodies lying everywhere. It was strange because we always closed them up tight at night in the chicken barn or in old oil drums covered with tin sheets placed in fenced-in coops. The chickens never slept in the chicken yard, yet here it was morning and almost all the chickens were dead in the chicken yard. I remember feeling heart-broken and thinking, "How could this happen on today of all days?" I remember my Dad getting sad and angry tossing the bodies into the fire pit to be burned. He lost almost all of his stock. He had been meticulously breeding them as he did all his livestock. He was obsessed with genetics. He kept meticulous breeding records of his chickens, goats, and irises. Now he was going to have to start all over. The weird thing is that no one else in my family remembers this which I find extremely odd. It was a huge financial blow to the family. I asked my Dad about it the other day. He doesn't remember it at all. He says that the neighbor's dogs would sometimes kill a few but doesn't remember losing that many at a time. I don't know what to think. That memory has ALWAYS been with me and crystal clear. It really bothers me that no one else in my family shares it. I never doubted it. It was very traumatic. I always felt a strong connection to the animals. I never got used to killing time. I could feel their deaths, and I felt so guilty because I was too afraid of my dad to confront him and make him stop (as if I could).

This summer I made it a goal to remember more of a portion of memory that's always bothered me. I always remembered being extremely young, still in diapers because I remember squatting down and feeling the soft cushion of the diaper when I sat in the dirt. But, I was old enough to toddle around and do small chores to "help". Just past the chicken yard was a small orchard of mostly pear trees. There was a small patch of land that my father used as a vegetable garden. Daddy was using the tiller to dig more furrows. He had me in the recently-planted furrows with a tin bucket of water and a large cast -iron ladle. I was instructed to give each new bean shoot two scoops of water. I did my job joyfully. I remember looking up at the row of trees lining the eastern border of the back field. I remember looking at the sun coming over the tree tops, and it looking close and familiar like an old friend. But then it wasn't the sun. Sometimes I remembered something rustling in the field by the trees but that's always been as much as I could remember.

This summer I laid down on my bed and relaxed and got myself into a meditative, dreamlike state and tried to revisit that memory. When I get to the bright light coming over the trees that I thought was the sun, I see it was a bright light flying into the adjacent field. I remember seeing a line of big-eyed monkeys coming at me from the edge of the field where the lights were, but then they weren't monkeys. They were those grey/blue guys with the large eyes with thin, lanky bodies. I remember being terrified when I realized they weren't monkeys. Then, for the first time, I remember someone standing behind me to my left. They always do that...sneak up on you from behind while they have something else distracting you. It was one of the large-eyed ones. He seems in shadow, but that's because he's trying to control me. He looks tall, but that is only because I am very short. I turn around and see him. He floats over the ground. I see his feet floating over the ground. Somehow he grabs me. I can't move. My head is forced down. I see our feet floating above the ground. I think he might've taken me to a little white, oval-shaped craft lying next to the chicken barn, but then he probably just took me inside the chicken barn where I met the general, my "father." I related this in another entry of a dream where my sister and I met a military man in camouflage in the barn who claimed to be our father and asked us to join a special, secret mission for him. Really, I think he asked us to call him father or tried to convince us that he was our "secret father" so we would trust him and cooperate.

Seeing that figure standing behind me brought back so much emotion. I knew instantly that I was their experiment, and that they were cold and unfeeling in how they treated me and used me. The "project" has always been more important to them than my feelings or my personal freedom. I also know that human beings are behind it, military-like working with them. It felt I had been bred to be an experiment for them, a whole lifetime at their disposal to poke and prod. I can't tell you the anger that rose in me. Now all those unexplained childhood emotions had a context and were perfectly understandable. I had every reason to be angry and indignant. My life was not my own. I have been sifting through this emotion all summer, trying to understand and regain some sense of power and ownership over myself. It doesn't make logical sense but I KNOW they had a make-shift base of operations in the back field for at least several months. These military human beings, I don't know who they are. I get the feeling they have no country. I also get the feeling that they are from a not-too-distant future, but that doesn't seem to matter because they have found a way to slip unnoticed into parallel time where they are not bound to our experience of time. They had a huge series of tents set up in the back field with all kinds of equipment, but they were able to set up some kind of posts, some kind of perimeter that phased the whole settlement out of sync with our reality so they could stay permanently hidden. Whenever they needed to interact with me or my family, usually at night, they could step out of the perimeter and through the use of a personal device phase into our reality. I know at least a few times, they took me to the tents in a jeep and were able to phase me into their reality with some kind of device planted on me where I met with doctors in lab coats. I have so many dreams of army jeeps picking me up near the goat barn and driving me out to the back field. I know it sounds crazy, and I would think it was crazy too if I didn't have the memories to back it up. When it's your own life and your own childhood, you know the smell of your own memories (if you know what I mean). There's a certain type of knowing. There's some things I speculate about, some things I guess at, but then there are some things I KNOW. I KNOW they had tents in the back field. I KNOW they were there. I KNOW I had been taken there. How many times have I "Known" things that have later proven true? More than I can count. Just because you lose the context of something doesn't mean you no longer know it. Just because you lost the memory or story behind something, doesn't mean you no longer know it. I wish more abductees could draw comfort from this. With or without memories, we know. We have always known. We have always known when something wasn't right, was different. Even without the memory, we still KNOW what happened. It comes out in different ways: emotions, impressions, dreams. It's all there. It's just been scrambled. But the experience is always there. It can't be erased. Forgetting can't erase. It throws away the key, but the door is still standing there implying something needs to be opened. But, we always have a key because we are the key. BECAUSE we experienced, we witnessed the event, we are inextricably, forever liked to that event. We are the observer; therefore, the event exists, and we always have a direct link to it.

You know what's even more weird? I remember being one of them, a man on these missions, living and working with them. I remember viewing some of my experiences from my childhood self and from the perspective of this man. There's memories of me being on the property at night, but I'm not me! I remember being this man and seeing myself as a small child in the back yard at night and visiting with her and feeling very protective of her. I have so many dreams of being this same man. Is he my future self? You related a dream of getting injections in your arm. Similarly, I had a dream of being this man but only temporarily. Strangely, they were "making" the body, and this was one of the few times that I was allowed to inhabit the body for testing as there were still a lot of adjustments to be made. I remember being naked and hugging someone. I don't know who it was. I don't remember seeing their face, but I missed them terribly. Then a doctor and a nurse in white coats pulled me away and made me sit in a chair where they gave me several injections in my upper right arm. Oddly, as I was waking I was hearing the old Supremes song "You Can't Hurry Love."

Just last week I found what looked to be puncture wound from a large needle in my right calf muscle. I never felt anything. I brushed my hand over my leg and found a raised scab. It wasn't so much as scab as a droplet of dried blood. The "scab" brushed off easily to reveal a perfectly round hole. What was strange was there was no irritation. There was no bug bite. I hadn't scratched the area. I had no idea how long it had been there. It didn't feel itchy. There was no pain, no bruising. There was no inflammation or irritation response what so ever. There's a small pale scar there now that's quickly fading.

Sorry, I've been everywhere in this post. I hope you don't think I'm nuts. Regardless of if I'm nutty or not, I completely understand those childhood emotions. I empathize thoroughly.

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

I wanted to write this here because it connects with my first posts here about the strange lightning phenomena that I experienced as a child.

It’s hard to know where to start. Yes, I have strange memories of meeting people at my dad’s place. The people who camped out in the back field. The young man in uniform who sometimes wore a lab coat. The young woman with long, curly hair (big Texas hair) who would also play nurse and wear a lab coat. And then of course there was my "secret father," the man in camouflage with graying hair at the temples. But not everything happened at my dad’s place. I was visited at school to, coming to with blood pouring from my nose. Seeing things appear at the classroom window that no one else could see. Everyone seeming to stop in time so I could sneak outside. The strange, non-existent places around the town I grew up. But, especially, the things that happened at my family's friends house where the strange lightning phenomena happened, TWICE. Let's call the family "the Smith's" here. Those things have an even more tinge of reality because of the lightning and the dreams that have been with me since childhood.

While playing at the Smith's place as a child, twice lightning had come down over myself, my sisters, and the Smith girls, split over our heads and struck down around us in a nice tight circle. And then there were the dreams about the road and the field across the road. But, I must tell the story of the dreams.

For one week in the summer of my 12th year I had a series of dreams every night. In my dreams, I was a young boy that would wander the streets of a small town at night. The weird thing was that the town was always the same every night. For example, one night I would walk down one residential street at the end of a road. The next night I would visit the exact same town and turn down one street earlier than the one I had traveled the night before. As I explored the street, I could look in between the houses and see the houses on the farther street behind that I had visited the night before. And it was during this series of dreams that I would dream the same transition sequence every night. Every time the dream would change scenes, I would find myself running on a dirt road at night. The moonlight was bright. I could see the tall Johnson grass on the side of the road and the barbed wire fences glinting in the moonlight. Ahead of me I can see two trees on either side of the road that reach over and meet over the road to make a canopy. I run faster and harder to reach the trees. Once I reach that spot on the road, there’s a flash of light, and I find myself in a different dream sequence. This road is actually the county road that goes past the Smith house where the weird lightning events happened. Every night in these dreams I would explore another section of the same community. I would walk up to people’s houses and look in. Sometimes I saw families watching tv and talking or eating dinner. If I liked the family, I would walk into the house un-observed, invisible, and sit down among them observing them. Sometimes I would go to a house where the children recognized me. It was always children who could see me, not the grown ups. They always seemed pleased to see me because I would tell them stories; they loved my stories. I remember visiting a shack often that housed a very large hispanic family. There were several young sisters that I would visit while the family was sleeping. They would wake up and be pleased to see me and beg me to tell them one of my stories. On one night, I found myself wandering down a street that looked very much like the street that my mother grew up on. I came to my grandparents house, the place where my mother grew up. It was night time as it was in all of these dreams. As I walked up on the house, I saw my mother as child playing in the yard. She had ribbons in her hair. She talked to me like she knew me and saw me all the time. Again, she loved my stories and begged me to tell her one. I could see her mother, my grandmother, standing at the screen door backlit. She told my mother to come inside in a very stern voice. She didn’t like me and didn’t want me talking to her daughter.

On the last night I dreamed these series of dreams, I came to the outskirts of the town and came to the very last house. It was a small, one-room white clapboard house. I saw a light on and automatically walked in the house to observe who was living there like I had done every night before, observing unseen. When I walked in, there was a middle-aged man in an undershirt and pants with unkempt hair and beard. Immediately he could see me and began talking to me. It really shocked me! No other grown up had ever been able to see me. He began to address me as if I was his son. He poured himself and me a glass of milk and sat down across from me at a small table. (Incidentally, the alien woman who lived by the river and dipped my childhood self in the river that I talked about in another post in another dream said, “milk” like a keyword. That was how I knew she was alien and not human. Why the milk motif?). He began apologizing to me. He said he was sorry for how things had ended badly between us last time. He really wanted to start all over again and give our relationship a second chance. At first I just thought he was mistaking me for someone else. I just let him talk if it made him feel better. But then as he continued to talk, a horrifying idea came to my mind. I began to wonder if he really was my father, and I had just forgotten. (Incidentally, he was not my biological father, looked nothing like him). I became more and more uncomfortable and wanted to get out of there. I didn’t want this man to be my father. I kept staring at the screen door watching the flies land on it, fly around, and re-land on it. I was waiting for my moment to bolt for the door because I was starting to realize that I had had amnesia and had forgotten that this man was indeed my father, and I had run away and forgotten him. Finally, I got up and ran out the door. I looked back at the screen door behind me and saw his silhouette in the doorway. At first he begged me patiently to please come back inside. I was terrified and began running away from the house. As I was running, I could hear him calling after me. His voice was changing from pleading to angry. As I was running away, I could hear him yell after me, “Come back! Don’t leave me! You’ll be sorry you ever left me!” In a panic I kept running and suddenly found that I was running on that same stretch of dirt road as I had done several times in the previous nights’ dreams, the road that was the same as the dirt road that was outside the Smith’s property. It was a repeat of the all the dreams before. I looked and saw the Johnson grass and barbed wire fence gleaming in the moonlight on the side of the road. I saw the overhanging trees in front of me. I knew from the past dreams that if I could get to those trees, I could escape this dream into another one. I began to run faster and harder. When I finally made it to the trees, there was a flash of light, and I woke up. I never had dreams like those again.

The reason why I mention these dreams is because of the repeating “secret father” motif I have experienced all my life and also the connection between them and visitation experiences I have had. If you remember I had an old dream when I was a very young child going along that same stretch of road to the overhanging trees but in the day time. Then there was a flash of light and I was on a sunny hillside. It was so bright on that day. I think it was fall. Yes, October or November. The air was dry and the grass was long and white. I stood on the rise near a clump of leaves in the corner of the field, looking over the scene. There were other little children running around. I remember something long and narrow like a trailer or a bus, and each kid had to go through the bus. We would walk in one end, and there were nurses inside. They would give us a shot of something, and then we would walk out the other end. Sometimes I thought it was a bus or a trailer. It was really narrow inside, a narrow walkway with cabinets and a chair for us to sit in to get our shots, like it was an RV or camper trailer that had been parked there.

I say all of this because now I know exactly where this happened. The lightning phenomena happened at the Smith's house, a little farther down the road is the overhanging trees. One evening not long ago, I was driving down that road again trying to see if I could remember more of the experiences that happened there. The last time I drove on that road to see if I could remember, I had a flash of being inside a small, disc-shaped room, so I wanted to see if anything more would come to me. Well, I had gotten a late start and the sun had already set and the light was fading. I drove past the Smith’s house and past the trees, and as I glanced at the field on my left past the trees I immediately recognized the place. I had driven by that field before but for some reason in the dim light with everything in silhouette, the spacial structure of the place was accented, the arrangement of the trees, the negative space of the field. I recognized that area as the hillside and field of my early childhood dream. It was the place, no doubt! I remember where I was standing. I remember where the bus, trailer had been. It was all so clear. I don’t ever remember visiting that field in real life. But I had definitely been there.

This is what I think. I think the dream of me as a child going past the trees to the hillside, seeing the children and getting the shots was a memory of an actual experience. I think it was the day that we almost got struck by lightning while swimming in the horse trough during the day. I think the other children were my sisters and our friends, the Smith girls, we were swimming with that day. The lightning was some kind of transport. The bright flash of light in my dreams was reminiscent of the lightning flash and not being able to see for a while because of the brightness. However, we did not travel very far—just past the trees to the field on the other side of the road where there may have been another craft which I think I might have interpreted as a bus or trailer in my dream. And we children received some kind of medical examination and treatment in this small medical craft.

The dream of seeing "my father" in the white clapboard house also comes in to play because according to the space in the dream and the direction I ran to get to the dirt road, the house lay in the very same field, just a little farther south. I think the “father” episode happened when there was the lightning phenomena that happened at night on the trampoline. I think, the same as last time, I was transported across the road to the same field (maybe they had a base of operations set up there like they did in my dad’s back field). I think the small one-room white clapboard house was really some kind of ship. I’ve dreamed of this same one-room white clapboard house many times. One time I dreamed as I was climbing the hill where I was working part time. I was following a tall, lanky man whom I interpreted to be an angel (he looked very much like the tall lanky people in my dream of the alien/people that lived by the river). When we reached the top of the hill, there were no buildings on the hill like there were in real life. The only thing on the hill was that small, one-room white clapboard house. The angel turned to me and said, “This is yours.” At the time, I was applying for a full time position at the place I was working, so I just interpreted the dream as saying I would get the job (which I did). Anyway, back to the night experience with the lightning and trampoline. Again, in that experience, I think I was taken across the road into that field where I "met my father". I’ve driven by that spot in the field where the house was in my dream. There’s no house; there never was, although there is a gate into the field with a sign that claims it as the Smith's oil lease...so all of this seemed to happen on their property. Since there's no structure there in real life this makes me think the house wasn’t really a house but a landed craft. And that night I met my “other father,” and remembered him, and it scared me.

In the other part of the series of dreams where I am traveling from house to house, sneaking in and talking to children again makes me have that familiar suspicion that I was used to help abduct other children by luring them outside their homes at night. In these dreams I was a boy, the child version of the man I am that I remember in my childhood visitations. I have two memories; one of being my childhood self and another of being this man in uniform who works with the people I meet with in the back field. But in these series of dreams where I meet with children, I am that guy but younger. Again, I am on the instigating side of the visitation experience when I am him.

I think it’s interesting that I went to visit my mom when she was a child in my dream. I have always had a strong sense that I would go and visit my mom as she was growing up and that I would also get a chance to revisit my childhood. It's strange how strong of a feeling I have that I WILL go back and visit her. It’s not a desire to go back and revisit the past. It’s just a fact, an inevitability that I will someday. I have always had such a strong sense that I WILL go back to those places (to my childhood home and my mom's). It’s not a wish or dream; it’s like an inevitability. Just like death is a certainty, I KNOW I will go back again to visit my childhood and my mother’s childhood. Maybe this will happen when I am dead or something, but regardless of how or when, I just know it’s going to happen. Another thing that’s weird is that I remember things that I am not supposed to remember because I wasn't born yet. For example, in my grandparents back bedroom (the house my mother grew up in) the walls were covered with panelling when we used to visit there when I was a child, but I remember when there was wallpaper on the walls. It was white wallpaper with a repeating green sketch pattern of a horse and carriage. My mother can confirm that there was wallpaper in that room with that same pattern, but it had been taken down over a decade before I was born. And yet I remember it vividly. There was a lamp post next to the carriage. It was a street scene. How can I remember that when it was torn down before I was born? I’ve been through all our picture albums; there’s no photos of that back room that would show that wallpaper. It wasn’t anywhere else in the house, so how come I know I’ve seen it? I don’t know. I feel like my life is nothing but a million puzzle pieces that just come short of fitting together.

I also wonder what the Smith’s had to do with my experiences. The field on the other side of the road was owned by them as well. It was an oil lease the husband worked. Also, the wife was my third grade teacher and her two daughters were best friends with my two older sisters. When i was in first grade, Mrs. Smith was still working on getting her teaching certification. She observed me and did a case study on me for class, and then she ended up being my third grade teacher after she got her certification. She has been in so many of my visitation dreams. I know I was taken with her kids. I guess it would make sense that she was taken along with us sometimes.

I had a crazy dream a while back. It’s one of those dreams where everything is so vivid, the colors, the scenes. It’s one of those dreams where you wake up remembering every detail and feel electric and tingly. In the dream, Mrs. Smith takes my child self out to a field. We stop by a gate and meet someone there. There’s a limo that drives up with little American flags on the front; it was the President’s car. The president at the time was Ronald Regan. She had brought me to see the President because apparently I could time travel. In the dream, I remember being a small child at my grandparents house. I was sitting in the high chair at the dinner table, except I had a moment of lucidity. I was speaking and thinking with a grown up intellect. I was standing up in the high chair speaking clearly and intently. I had been time traveling and had visited that point in time in my young body to relate the future to my family, and I was telling them all the important things to expect in the future. Well, word got out of that strange happening and this woman had taken me to see the President because of my ability. Of course, it was just a dream, but about a month ago I drove down that same dirt road by the Smith's place trying to understand what had happened to me. Instead of turning around after I passed the familiar trees and field, I continued down the dirt road for a few miles. It was interrupted by a paved highway, but I crossed the highway and continued down this county road, and the familiarity of that stretch of road hit me in the gut. I was shaking uncontrollably. It was like driving in a dream. There was a bend in the road, and at the bend there was a field. It was the field where Mrs. Smith had taken me in this dream, and there was the very same gate where the limo had pulled up. I just think it’s really weird that these experiences have the back drop of a real place that happens to all converge on the same stretch of road and the same family friends where I grew up. I don’t know what to think of it all. Everything is so jumbled up. I think my mind dresses up what the people and things were, but I don’t have any doubt in my mind that the places were real and that I experienced something unusual at those places. That’s where my inner knowing kicks in. I KNOW something happened at those places. Something that I’ve been made to forget, but was very real. And the anomalous experience of the lightning phenomena that happened twice and was experienced and remembered by the rest of my family was a precursor to those experiences.

I've attached a picture I drew of the dream where I met "my father" in one of the Smith's fields before I realized it was their field and their road.
Attachments
Father dream.jpg

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

I've been dreaming a lot about the orchard. I know that visitation I remembered part of a few months ago was one of the most emotional to date. But it still frustrates me that I don't remember all of it. I remember being taken back towards the chicken barn area, but then it cuts out. That is as much as I can remember. That and a bunch of emotion, feeling used, manipulated, crushed.

I had a very vivd dream last week of the chicken yard and orchard area. The first part was of the chicken yard at night. There was a military jeep parked in front of the gate. There was a bright light illuminating my Dad (biological) and my "secret father" who was wearing military camouflage. They were standing by the gate that separated the chicken yard from the orchard area. I was there as a small child and secret father was convincing my Dad to let him take me into the orchard. My Dad seemed not all there yet excited. The secret father guy was telling him there was a secret project having to do with genetics and my dad loves genetics and was getting excited thinking this guy was going to share some of those genetic secrets with him so he could make a great show goat or new iris hybrid (sounds weird but this is totally like my dad). I think one or more of my sisters was with me. He took me to this shack along one edge of the orchard (there's no shack there in real life). There was another man there, and it was like they took us kids one at a time sitting in a chair next to a desk. The man sat at the desk filling out the questionnaire while a nurse or nurses took blood samples and some other samples maybe skin and hair. My dad was standing there, again kind of out of it but nervous shifting from one foot to another. He would answer most of the questions for us. There were basic, simple questions like what kind of play activities we engaged in, what types of foods we ate, questions about our bowel movements and daily routines, dispositions. It's like we were being catalogued.

Then in the next part of the dream, it was daytime, more like early dawn, a little bit of fog on the ground. I was standing in front of this shack in the orchard. I remember seeing a big blue whale of a car like a Chrysler or a Buick in the driveway through the fence. It looked familiar, but I don't remember anyone we knew owning one of those. As I was standing in the orchard, I looked down and could see that the ground was divided into plots with concrete dividers like it was a graveyard. I saw a few gravestones, too. Then the man who had questioned us came out of the shack. He seemed to be the "caretaker" of the graveyard. I saw him walking around a plot near one of the pear trees. Oddly, he was carrying a disembodied head under his arm.

I think the disembodied head represented lost knowledge. I'm still not remembering everything that happened. My subconscious keeps throwing up these images trying to tell me something, but for some reason it won't fully come to the surface. What's weird is that isn't the first time I've dreamed of the orchard being a graveyard. Why does that place represent death to me? And why do I get so much death imagery in my dreams? In one of my other dreams, a child actor had died (and in the dream I understood that it was me) and her grave was under one of the pear trees in the orchard which was also the plot the caretaker stood by with the head under his arm. Another time I dreamed that this spot in the orchard was a cranberry bog. I looked it up and cranberries symbolize immortality (which I suppose could represent the soul, the immortal part of the self). In that dream, I was that male guy but I could fly. I was flying up above the bog and had a sword in my hand. I was fighting two large wolf creatures that lived under the bog. I couldn't see them because of the layer of cranberries, so I had to fly myself over the bog like bait so they would break the surface and snap at me. Then I knew where they were and could swing at them with my sword. The dream was strange because my perspective would shift. Sometimes I would be viewing the scene from the perspective of the guy flying above and sometimes I was viewing the scene as if I were one of the wolves underwater peering through the bog at the flying boy. Sometimes there was what felt like this strong astral wind that blew through me, and it took everything I had to keep control of myself, like I could be blown out of my body and lose consciousness. I've experienced that wind a lot. In those dreams I had of being a small child in the back yard at night with the strange pilot man landing in the driveway, I was terrified. These tall white, glowing beings would jump out at me from behind walls and trees. Every time they did this, I would lift off the ground flying but it felt like I was being blown off my feet up into the air by this incredible wind. I then started to realize that the wind was created by my fear, and if I could control my fear, I could control the wind and control my flight. Last year I had some kind of astral experience. I was in my bedroom at night and thought I was awake, but it was obviously some kind of astral/etheric experience. I was being attacked and blown around the room by this invisible vicious wind that felt like it could blow through me. I grabbed and wrestled with this wind being knocked against walls and ceiling. I finally stopped fighting and while holding this wind in my hands, I just started to feel love, not really feel love for this thing, but it was like the love of myself, being who who I was and enjoying it just became big inside me and neutralized this wind, and I floated down to the floor completely calm. I guess there's a big lesson in all that, huh?

I'm still scratching my head with all this death imagery though. The first up-close UFO I saw in 2008 was hovering over a cemetery. In the past couple of years I've had two sets of a series of three related death dreams. In several of my dreams about my "secret father" he lived in a house that was half above ground and half down in the ground of a graveyard. In one of my death dreams, I was in training for a big competition. It was a competition to see who could stay underwater in a coffin the longest. I was taken to a small white clapboard house like I've dreamed about many times before, the same one in the above post. In the house I saw a cat of mine that had died in real life not long before except he was all black in the dream. I suppose he represented my intuitive side. Surrounding the house were several small ponds as far as the eye could see. I was to be placed in a coffin and lowered down into the bottom of one of these ponds with only a breathing tube leading to the surface. Other competitors were going to do the same. The contest was to see who could stay under the longest without losing their minds. There was going to be a big procession or pilgrimage to this site before the competition, so I got on a train to travel to the starting point near the sea. On the train ride, my trainers were there with me and brought the coffin. They told me I should practice laying in the coffin being still or I could lose my mind in the competition. I crawled in the coffin and they closed the lid, and I tried to meditate to ignore or rather accept the quiet and claustrophobia of the dark coffin and lose sense of time so I wouldn't go stir crazy. Are these visitations just about gaining self-control? But what does death have to do with it? Maybe my mind explains it to me as death. Maybe that's how it shows me what is happening on this other plane. When you are on that other plane, it's like you are on the same or similar plane you go to in death. So maybe my mind shows that when I am in that state, it's like being dead. Maybe. Or not. Or maybe what I went through as a child in that orchard was like dying. I did have that experience of feeling complete and utter loss by the chicken yard gate. Maybe they did something to me that day that changed me forever. Maybe they opened up this world to me, forced it on me, by being rough and terrifying forcing my higher self to come to my aid, opening up my access to this etheric world at a very young age before I was ready. This is all just speculation until I can actually remember.

I did have a dream a while back of being this same man I dream of being in these visitation experiences. I was sitting on a bench in the wooded area at the edge of the back field. There was a tall green/gray alien there. He had smallish black eyes but a big bulbous head with what looked like some wrinkles on his forehead. We were looking out into the back field watching my child self and my sisters play in the back field while the sun was setting. The slant light was shining through the trees. I remember how odd the alien being looked in such natural earth light. I could see the dust motes dancing in the light beams, so vivid. As I was watching my young self play in the field, the being said, "You will become her." When I asked why, he just said, "Something is going to happen." And I woke up.

Ugh. 100 million puzzle pieces and nothing fits together. Grrrr. What is all this stuff lurking in my subconscious?! If someone wants me to get my emotions under control, I better get some clarity and my memories back because I guarantee you 99% of my inner-turmoil comes from confusion, frustration, and repressed memories and the emotions that go with them.

wings
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

Manhatten,

That is some immense amount of remembering you are already doing. A pretty busy life you are remembering, a massive amount, I think.

Amazing how slow time 'here' passes when you are in a dream that lasts hours. Imagine that every night. I like that movie Inception, where a stacked dream can last a month in a single night, etc.

You ask how to remember. Have you heard of the book 'Moonwalking with Einstein?' It is brilliant. Explains how the human mind functions on memory and shows a ton of neat tricks for remembering things. It might help you out. But mainly in 'creating' memory links, new ones. I dont know if it would help you remember the past. If you were in a dream that is a repeat and you wanted to remember it for memories of the past, find something in the area that will remind you of the dream where you will see something when you wake up that reminds you of that, like a carton of milk or cereal, when you wake up, could trigger you to remember what you saw the night before.

Awesome book though. Really interesting how the mind uses 'associations' to log things by, as well as moderate stimulation from an event.


Also, you talked on dreaming that you were someone else. I have had those. Wierdest dreams ever. Like, I am a 19 year old at a party and all my friends are there and I dont know any of them, and I go in the bathroom, finish, and wash my hands and look in the mirror and dang, its not me at all! Quite a few times that has happened. I now just shrug it off. I figure some day I'll find out what was going on. In the mean time, Im not going to let it bother me or freak me out.

Some think that dreams are also connected with 'yourself' in alternate realities. For instance, there might be 10 of you in other realities (all this is here-say) and maybe you merge, somehow, with an alternate you. I dont know. I heard about that once and thought on it. I dont know. I have seen what I think are maybe alternate 'me's, but it could just be a dream, or maybe the 'big Guy' puts dreams in us to teach us, like visions. Dreams are incredible (when they arent nightmares, when they are good dreams).

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Wings,

You are right. I guess I have been remembering a lot. I guess I just wanted it to make more sense or give me some straight answers, and still not getting those keeps my sense of desperation intact. It is weird dreaming you are someone else. I don't know why I keep having recurring dreams of being this same person. It does bother me because I've been that person so much in my dreams; there is a separate life; a separate family, and it is so real. It feels like being two people at once, living in two places at once, straddling some kind of reality fence so that I never really feel comfortable in either place. I don't know why I am bothered, but I am, severely, have always been. I feel like that I MUST remember; I MUST figure out, like it's my purpose on earth, some kind of fire in the bones that doesn't let me rest.

I did take a look at that book you mentioned. I always appreciate your recommendations; you've always been emotionally supportive, and I DO appreciate that! The book does seem great if you want to train yourself to remember a bunch of stuff, but it does really talk about how to bring back what you've forgotten. I've always wondered if that childhood vision I had of that land with the flying horse I called "Memory" was a type of mnemonic device, every object, land feature, movement in the story was symbolic like a knot on a wampum, something that was programmed in to me to remember later, given in symbolic form. My young niece has been coming up with similar stories on her own, even drawing the same pictures that I used to draw at her age of the same characters, and I've never told her the story. It's like she's going through the same program. I worry for her.

I was able to have the first serious conversation in my life with my family over Mother's Day about this kind of stuff. Both my sisters, my mom, and I for the first time talked about the strange stuff that happened when we were young and talked about it seriously in a non-joking way. Somehow the story of me seeing the shadow man when I was young was brought up, and my other sister for the first time confessed that she would see him walk over and stand over me on my side of the bed. I was incredulous! Why had she never said this before? It's like pulling teeth to get the truth out of my family. It's like they don't want to talk about it; they don't want to see. My sister also talked about the fact that she used to sometimes see a white lion in that bedroom at night, made out of what she called "white shadow" that would stare at her from the foot of the bed. She had told me about that before, but then my mom dropped some bombs. She said she used to see a white lion stare at her from her bedroom closet when she was a child. She said she also saw a black figure come over to her bedside and stand over her--this was when she was still sleeping in the baby bed in the back bedroom of her parents' house with her brothers. As she was describing it, she said the person looked like he was wearing a trench coat and a fedora. My jaw dropped! She didn't realize that the shadow man that I saw when I was little matched that same description. He was black shadow and he wore a trench coat and a fedora hat, and he would come over to my side of the bed and pull out what looked like a knife from his coat and hold it over me before I would black out. She confessed that her shadow man did the exact same thing; it held a knife over her and she would pull the covers over her head terrified until it went away. She never talked about the shadow man or the white lion with us before because she just thought they were her childhood imagination, but what are the odds that her children are experiencing the exact same thing that she did is a child? I don't know what's going on. But having others in my family experience it makes it all the more real. It's one thing to have dreams; this is something other.

Earlier last month, I went with my other sister to a walking track in the evening to walk the dog with her. As we were doing laps, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable out there. No one else was around. We had walked that track several times before, but I had never felt that uncomfortable. It felt like we were being watched. Finally, as we rounded the lap, I told my sister I didn't feel right, like someone was watching us. As I was talking, the dog started looking at the end of the street and growling though nobody was there. My sister trusted my intuition and we left. My other sister (the one who saw the lions) told me that night as she was about to go to bed, she opened the door to her closet which is really a long, narrow storage room. She said she saw a dark, human figure at the end of store room. She said she just closed the door and went to bed. She said she felt absolutely terrified, but it was like she didn't want to accept what she just saw. It's how most of my family is about this stuff. They don't want to talk about it because talking about it makes it real, makes them have to face it. I'm hoping they will be more willing talk now, willing to face a little bit more because I can't stand going through this alone.

guldage
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 1:12 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by guldage »

I have gone from not rembering a thing, to remembering a lot and then back to, and back to having a clue what happened last night. That is rather unsettleling consitering that I know that there is something that I am surposed to remember.
I dont talk to my family much about these things. My daughter talkes about it now and again, but it can be very hard to handle. So sometimes just easier to not think about it.

wings
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

Man, you are really coming along on finding things out. That must be a good feeling.

I remember when I first started to try to remember dreams. For me, I had to remember them sometime 'in' the dream, like when I realize it is a dream, so I quickly look around and try to remember things. Then something the next morning would trigger one of the things I tried to memorize and 'bing' the entire dream unfolded. I just needed to see or hear something that related to what I had seen. And..... If I didnt write it down when I woke up, it was gone later. So I started keeping a notepad beside my bed. Now its the phone, a voice recorder App. I can write it down later, put in more details, all while I am still half awake.

I rarely do that anymore though. I get so much torment, I have just started to learn to forget things as the dark side do nothing but bombard me with bad dreams. (Just went to 15 years today, June 1st, the day torment, spiritual torture, began for me).

I once had a feeling like the Lord had put 3 lions on my room. They would attack bad spirits. They were big, didnt have the mains around their necks. I felt them, could see them in my mind, felt their presence. That lasted 3 nights perhaps. I hope they got some bad guys if (if) that was what they did. This was probably several years ago, like 5 years ago.

For my family, I only remember my Dad talking on things, like a saucer hovering over a car on a highway at night, etc. He never talked about aliens but said he had the most amazing imagination. I had it too until the dark side decided they wanted to tair me apart. Just thinking became difficult. But they got no where. But that was the only thing I heard of on aliens and weird things in my family. Now, my nephew who died very recently, in a very horrible way, I found out was MASSIVELY HEAVY into the UFO phenomenon. He talked about voices and UFO's constantly to his mom (my sister). That really freaked me out. I wondered later why he never told me about those things. Maybe he was trying to protect a family member.

I saw a movie the other night about a small family being visited by Grays. Came out recently. Very interesting what it says. 'Usually always, when grays come into peoples lives, things go horribly wrong for them'.

guldage
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 1:12 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by guldage »

Things can go very wrong for you when greys come in to your life. I have healthissues often related to the periods when I had these visits. That is if you let them. Its hard to fight and it has taken years but, these days its not so hard to deal with as it used to be. I find a little portion of humor and self ironi helpes with the whole thing.
I think it does run in families, but its rarely talked about. My mother does not talk about these things. I was actually missing for half an hour when I was a baby. Just six month old. I can remember once I tolled my Grandmother (my Mothers mother) about dreams that I had that came thrue. She just lloked at me and said sorry that you have to deal with that. Like it was the most normal thing in the world. Later I found out that it was something that was seen through generations in my family. So most likely others have also been visited as well. But again we dont talk about it.
My brother in law have however recently mentioned that he has seen several UFos. We have talked about how they looked like, and his exsperience was very simular to mine when I saw a Physical UFo. LIghts in the sky.
What was the name of that film. I think I would like to see it.

wings
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

Guldage, the movis is Dark Skies. http://darkskiesfilm.com/

wings
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

Manhattan,

Your story up near the top, with the tents. That reminded me of something.

The Germans just before WWII, during the World Fair expo, had a building. You went into the theater, sat down in a seat, a stage was before you with buildings of a village. There were tower structures all around the village. When the show started, the person came up and said that Germany developed a way to camouflage a town so it could not be bombed. He said it would take 10 to 20 minutes. He left and a buzzing started. The wires and antennae were being loaded with electricity. After a while, there was a shimmering, then at one point, the buildlings in the toy village on the stage were totally invisible. Some say this was the basis for the Philidelphia project. The ship was totally surrounded by antennae and had a huge power generating system on board. It made it to Australia in 30 minutes, called in, headed back, and had a malfunction in the system. Many crew were lost, melting into solid metal in the hull, or going insane from seeing the ghost dimension or spirit dimension from the physical. Even Einstein said 'we should never tamper with such technology anymore.' Many survived also, and had side effects, not all bad, but side effects none the less.

Now, that being said, cant you see 'some' people wanting to press forward on that and see how far they can go? So, hearing our story on the tents, I wonder if they had a camp setup with antennaes around them.

We have found that Light, Gravity, and Time are 'connected'. UFO's are found to use 'magneto drive' usually, this is 'magnetic' drive. So maybe magnetics work interdimensionally 'also'. I dont know, just thinking out loud here. So maybe they can setup a tent, create a bubble in time, and check out people through time. For them, it might take a week or two, but for us, it looks like 20 plus years. They make a 'entry' in time every 5 years, and you see them and this and that happens. For them, it may be say 5 jumps a day or 5 insertions, and sleep, fill out reports, repeat, and then close the project and study the data. This could be from the 1950's.

All just totally hypothetical, but what if...



Also, I have had dreams or memories implanted in me. You talked about this above, and its happened to me many times. I learned to just ignore it. I am tired of being hit with all of this, but you are so right. You know how you know when your memory is yours or not.

Speaking on this, I had a dream once, about being a pilot in WWII, British, (I am American) and he flew Recon missions down a river in Germany in a plane I do not recall, a single seater twin engine T-tail fighter reconnaissance, like a mini Mosquito. I remember in massive detail flying along the river banks, high trees, even spotting snipers and taking random shots at them as I flew past, the snipers were in trees in German uniforms. I had 3 missions down that river. I was shot down and tried walking back. I had on clothes that made me look normal. Some kids at one point figured me out, two German gaurds in the area looked at me from the commotion, I went to them smiling, and they shrugged me off and smiled back, but as I continued on my walk, I had a feeling that I get in dreams, being pulled out, grabbing hold of a fence post, the area twisting, and bing, I wake up in bed with memories of flying missions over Germany. Oddly, I did find that plane online. It was similar to a Whirlwind, I forget its designation, and it had a camera mounted in the nose with a plexi nose cone.

So weird.

Can they tape or record memories? How in the world.... Life can be such a mystery.

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Guidage,

I agree that it does seem to run in families, and it is very hard to get everyone to talk about it; sometimes it is hard to face. I certainly know that feeling especially when some traumatic experiences happen or you are beginning to remember a traumatic experience. Even then, I feel that it is so important to talk and share. When I look back to the things that scared me and made me not want to talk or think about it, they make no sense. I have intense feelings of fear and dread, but when I pair those feelings with the visuals of the memory, they don't make sense. The beings or people I saw weren't hurting me. It's not like I was getting sawed in half. I'm starting to think that maybe these intense emotions are planted there as a deterrent to remembering. When you are confronted with some of the feelings behind these memories, there's irrational fear, shock, a feeling like you are losing your mind or you might die if you look at what happened, but more often than not when I get past those intense emotions, I just remember injections, being shown images, and being sent back home. The reality of the experience doesn't justify the terror, so that's why I think those fearful emotions are placed there post-hypnotically as a memory deterrent. Recently, I've been trying to help myself get past these illogical feelings by trying to undo those suggestions. In bed, before I drift off to sleep, I let myself get into a relaxed state and try to undo those blocks by facing those irrational thoughts and trying to I guess "reprogram" myself to get past them. I tell myself things like, "You can remember" "It is okay to remember now" "You won't lose your mind if you remember" "You won't die if you remember" "You will be able to handle the memories; they won't overwhelm you" "You can face this; it's not too much; it's easy to handle." Just confessing these things makes me realize how ridiculous my fears were, but every abductee has them; that's why I think they place those anxieties there when they get you to forget the experience so you won't want to remember. Telling myself these things has helped me a lot. I think it is so important to break down these fears because ultimately what they do is keep us isolated and keep us from piecing together the truth. We MUST share and we MUST talk if we are to find the truth of what is happening and support each other through this. It's so ridiculous that I can't talk to my own family about this; logically we should be adamant about getting to the bottom of this and protecting each other, but they keep us separated in fear to protect whatever it is they are doing. Hopefully, the truth is out there. Incidentally, I wouldn't expect to get answers from a movie. I saw that movie. It' s based on 5% research and 95% horror movie plot formula. Remember, they are more concerned with making money off of a popular horror movie than telling truth. I've watched a few movies about abduction and many are so ridiculous. Many times I shake my head and just say, "Um...that's not what happens." It's best to get the truth from the experiencers themselves. Reading books and watching documentaries/interviews with actual experiencers has done a lot in helping validate my own experience and helping trigger my own remembrances. I am glad you are writing your experiences down. That does help so much to pin them down into long-term memory and to work through the emotion. I can tell you have overcome a lot of your initial fear, and you are bravely facing the experiences. The memories behind some of those images will begin to come to you as the fear dissipates, and you let yourself move past the blocks they set up when they made you forget.

I've also recently been adding essential oils to some of my recall meditation times. I'll get myself into a relaxed state, visit that image that has been bothering me, and now add a drop or two of different essential oils to inhale or place on the roof of my mouth. They say smell is the strongest sense tied to memory, and I guess it is true. Adding those oils has brought up some powerful memories and emotions. So far, they have concerned my childhood and the divorce and my feelings around those things. I haven't tried to visit an abduction memory with them yet. The first time I used them, it brought up a childhood memory I had forgotten and I cried for days! I was shocked at how well and intensely it worked! I needed a few days to recover. They are really good at helping you release all those bottled up emotions and stress. Tread lightly and go slowly if you decide to use them because they work surprisingly well! When you are trying to remember, start with the image you currently remember and try to walk through what happens next one step at a time. If you hit a block, calm yourself and start over at the beginning. And again step-by-step walk yourself through what happened as the images come to you. If you don't trust the images, if you feel you are making them up and they are not honest memory, leave it and try again another day. Sometimes you only get a couple frames at a time. The memories may be incomplete, but wait a few days; more details will come spontaneously in flashes sometimes. i discovered another technique that helped me remember more; I got the idea from the transcripts of experiencers under hypnosis. Sometimes the hypnotist will ask the person to pull out of themselves as if viewing the scene as if they were a fly on the wall; this helps them disconnect a bit from the emotional intensity of the scene. That helps, but that also gave me the idea of trying to view the ordeal through the eyes of one of the abductors. Similarly this helps to draw me away from the intensity of the experience to a more objective viewpoint that I can handle; it's a way to cheat my brain from the emotions and blocks they've placed in me. They told me not to remember, but if I shift my viewpoint to one of them, I'm not remembering; they are remembering. And that way your mind will allow yourself to view it. Sometimes you have to trick yourself. I recently did this and remembered more of when they actually put the implant behind my ear in the "Dragged Out of Bed" episode. I just happened to think if this is why I always dream of myself as a specific man on the "abduction side" of the experience. Is this the way my subconscious has chosen to remember because remembering it from my own viewpoint is too intense or "not allowed"? I don't know the answer to that. I still can't figure out the truth behind those dreams and that man viewpoint. So many possibilities and theories; clearer truth is harder to come by. Anyway, I thought I would share some of these techniques. Maybe they can help you get a clearer picture of what's happening to you.

Wings,

I had read about the Philadelphia Experiment, but I had never heard of the World Fair expo event that preceded it. That is really interesting! You are an encyclopedia of all things UFO! You must have been researching this stuff for years. I've tried to read a lot, but I know I've only scratched the surface of the research that's out there. What I remember were poles set around the perimeter of the camp. They had slits toward the top, and they vibrated like they were sending out energy through the slits. They also had pale lights installed in them so the perimeter could be seen at all times. I also believe they had smaller versions of those things that they could wear on their bodies so they could wander outside the perimeter when necessary. It literally made them invisible. I saw online once the testimony of a man who supposedly had an encounter with an alien (Reed was his name, I think). I don't know if I believe his story, but he did talk about a bracelet he supposedly found that had alien writing and needles on the inside of bracelet that went into your skin when you put it on and enabled you to communicate with and teleport to alien ships. Pictures of the bracelet made it look a little hokey and Star Trek-y; I have a hard time believing it is authentic, but it does remind me of something I experienced as a child. Before the divorce, when I still lived at my dad's house (I was 5 or younger), I remember playing in one of the back bedrooms of the new edition to the house which was essentially an old trailer home attached to our original house. There was a glass dish that had jewelry in it. I found a strange bracelet among them. It wasn't a big clunky thing like the Reed bracelet. It was a small, thin sliver bracelet, a semi-circle of solid metal, but the strange thing was that towards one end it had a sharp metal protrusion facing the inside of the bracelet. Even my child self realized that didn't make much sense. Why would you make a bracelet with a pointing thing that faced inward? Wouldn't that hurt? Shouldn't it be pointing outwards? After looking at it. I decided I would try it on. I thought that maybe whoever made it knew what they were doing, and they made it so it wouldn't hurt. Well, I tried it on. And I would like to point out that even though I was very young, this bracelet was very small. I barely squeezed my wrist through the gap, and yep, it did hurt! The needle-like protrusion stuck into my arm. I don't know if it went all the way in or not. I just remember PAIN! It hurt so bad. My whole arm was killing me. I pulled and clawed at it trying to get it off. I remember hurting and being afraid that I would never get it off. I finally was able to rip it off my arm. That needle-like thing ripped off a lot of skin. I never told anyone about it and tried to hide my injury and make excuses for it. I didn't want to get in trouble for playing with somebody's bracelet that wasn't mine (kid logic). Anyway, that event has always stayed in the back of my mind. I always thought it was just some bracelet that some idiot made that didn't understand how to make bracelets. After I read about the Reed bracelet (again, I don't know if it is genuine), the concept of it made me think of that bracelet I had found when I was a kid. I don't know what happened to it. I'll see if I can make a drawing of it and post it. Maybe it's something else that I mistook for a bracelet and has a normal explanation to it. But part of me wonders if it could have been one of those small, on-body devices because it was so strange.

That's really interesting about the WWII dreams. I have dreamed that a WWII pilot in a similar plane landed on our farm when I was a child. He was nice to me. Showed me his pocket watch; it was special somehow. I had to hide him. Military men came later and drew our family out into the front yard and questioned us about him and searched our land. I didn't tell them anything because I did not want to betray my friend. Was that implanted? I have different types of dreams. I have some that I never remember. Some that are obvious "grocery list" type dreams. I have some dreams that I think are important, but are easy to forget and fade away. I even have precognitive dreams sometimes. Like one night I dreamed I was hiding in some kind of shelter in civilian clothes, but there was a man next to me who explained to me that I was an American spy and I was to infiltrate this caravan of trucks in front of us. They were a long line of black cargo trucks with tarps covering them. It was snowing. The man that was with me told to walk up to one of the drivers like I was a part of their caravan and I was told to ride with him. I was told I had to speak Russian to them. I remember panicking because I didn't know Russian, but the guy pushed me out into the open and the driver saw me, so I had to act my part and to my surprise I knew Russian and could speak with him. A month later the fight in the Ukraine started and I saw the surveillance pictures of the same black trucks that were supposedly Russian that were bringing in supplies to support the rebels. I also dreamed about the MH370 disappearance many months before it happened (interestingly there was a connection between the plane and a desert in Africa (Egypt?) and Russia in my dream). Perhaps we are able to travel through time and space in our dreams and see things from the eyes of others (maybe that's why we are chosen). So I have those kind of dreams, too, but then sometimes (and these are very rare) I have what I call "epic" or "mythic" dreams. These dreams are not like the others. They are very vivid in image and color, and I remember them in their entirety as if i were watching a movie. These are the dreams that usually involved the alien beings and military people. I usually wake up from them feeling very relaxed and clear in my head, remember everything, and I usually feel tingly all over like there's electricity in the air. Can they make me have dreams? Can they implant them? Or does the tingly bit mean I am experiencing these things in an out-of-body way? It's hard to differentiate sometimes. Even though these are vivid dreams, I do have to concede they are dreams and their truth value is always in question in some way, but like you say there are some elements that are memory that you "KNOW," and then there are the conscious memories that I have that corroborate some things. The subconscious is able to bring up images of actual occurrences in dream; even for "grocery list" dreams this is true, but it may take those truthful images and re-arrange them, have them do things that reflect your feeling of the situation instead of reflecting the true actions of the event. In that way dreams are more emotionally honest; they may not be objectively honest, but they are always subjectively honest. Such is the dilemma of dreams. Recovering the truth from dreams is like picking out raisins baked in a pudding; Conscious remembrance is always more reliable. Unfortunately, for experiencers of alien encounters, conscious memories are sparse. In short, people like us are left with a lot of pudding and a few raisins to show for our experiences. We have very little certainty, and I guess we have to live with that until some kind of disclosure or direct, conscious contact occurs with no memory meddling afterwards.

guldage
Posts: 3
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by guldage »

How now watch the movie dark skies. Its a good movie, however taken in to perspektive of what I have been exsperiencing a bit of. I started to take it apart and compare at once. Maybee its a habbit because I work with science everyday. Making theses and see if you can validate them!
But here is my thought!. If you see the movie and think that is how it goes, dont get scared. I dont think they run of with children.!
I was missing for some time as a baby, but came back after some time! If others have heard of something like that, I stand corrected.
However the way they worm their way in to your house sounds familiar. Electrick stuff not working. Have had weird stuff happening in my house, but never displayed in a manner like in the movie, but I surpose exateration proves a point and makes it more clear.
Bruises and cuts yes, but never something so exstreme as on the children. Neither on me or anyone in the family. Again of cause. I am not an oracle. If others have had these kind of exsperiances, I must see myself corrected
What it does do, this movie, is making the greys well known. If that is a good thing or not I am not sure. It might make people less believeble when addressing their exsperience. Oh you watcht that movie!
Other than that it does adress an issue. These things are happening and most people are not believed or rediculed if they are talking about it, and it happens every where. Not just far out in the country, but in the middle of the cities.
I just learned that my city in Denmark are one of the hotspots in Europe when it comes to UFO sitings. I know several people that have seen things in the sky.

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Here's my very poor sketch of the strange bracelet I found and tried on as a kid. It had a polished sliver look on the outside. The underside had a matte finish but still smooth if I remember correctly. There seemed to be some kind of black rubber near the "needle" base. Has anyone else seen one of these? Do you know what it is?
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wings
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

I havent seen something like that. Very interesting. What if that is what they have been looking for? Maybe they found your blood, dna, skin matter one it and have been watching you, like perhaps they think you had been using it or used it and something happened?

Interesting...


You said I am an encyclopedia of UFO's, lol. I started studying them in 4th grade for some reason. When we moved to Phoenix (very hot, couldnt play outside) I began to draw space ships and was suddenly fascinated with UFO's. I read books on them at our school library and the main library down town. In 4th grade I began making a book of sketches and notes, which by 5th grade was quite thick. Kids started making fun of me. By 8th grade, my nickname was 'UFO'. Wasnt pretty. :S

I remember one night, sticking myself in the leg with a pencil and the lead stuck in my skin. However, I never found a yellow pencil in my bed, nor on the floor, but I could see clearly a dark gray 'thing' under the skin of my thigh and I never tried to dig it out. I figured carbon wouldnt effect my body. Wierd. Its gone now, but for many years, it was there.

Yep, I think they can plant memories in us. Its like a playground in the spirit. When I was with that cult group (that told me they were Christians and later I found they werent) we would have meetings in places (in the spirit). When I quit the group, they would put so many nightmares in me (if I could sleep). I cant believe the government havent cracked down on them as they seem to have sciences down to an art concerning out of body travel and the fact that they are very very evil.

I once had a 'vision' (speaking of this subject) in Church (Christian, Calvary Church). I asked the Lord in my mind how Churches of many different types (Episcapalian, Christian, Catholic) could teach the same thing on the same day. I then went into a vision right in my seat as the Pastor was talking. I saw myself in orbit over Earth, it was night out, I could see the many cities below, I was over America. I could hear a girl talking (from below) and she was asking God to take care of her dog, he had run away and she was terribly worried about him. I looked to my right (like someone was there) and there was a collossal face of Jesus near me, far away, but very close, huge. He was looking at Earth. Then I was in a different place. I was above an ocean, calm and serene, no waves. A drop fell from the sky from Jesus and when it hit, it didnt 'hit' the water, it 'touched' the water. A slow wave of a ring began to move away from the spot it touched. The wave became bigger. Then I was in a new location. I was over a house. It was night, the street lights were on. I could make out a back yard, the neighbors behind it, the size of the trees, the 2 story home. And suddenly here comes the wave and it passed through the house, through the yard, through the neighbors house. I then went back to one of those locations previous and I was told in my mind that the Lord teaches us in our dreams when we sleep at night and that is how so many Pastors could have the same dream about the same sermon. I then found myself back in my seat in Church, the Pastor talking. Its like a screen opened in front of my face, then I was in the screen or the screen enveloped my mind. Hard to explain.

I had noticed you can see people day dreaming, thinking of something, and in the spirit, if you shift your sight, you see a shimmering screen in front of their face. Very wild. It must be the day dream functioning. Your mind is looking at a visual and it must be like a screen in the spirit.

Back to the vision, I had asked the question because where I worked, customers I knew that came in alot, often on Sundays after Church, would talk to me and I often asked them what the sermons were about. One day, all three were the same Sermon and if you think about the possibilities of unrelated Church branches teaching the exact same thing, the odds are astronomical.

Is it possible you could draw a tower from that camp? Dimensions and things? I almost think you shouldnt but it would be cool to see what it looks like, though it probably doesnt matter as my imagination can already picture something. That wrist bracelet looks pretty wild. I learned from documentaries and books that the Grays evidently use mind control via devices they wear to control things (ships, etc). The craft from Roswell was controlled by head bands which worked with the Grays brains, brain patterns, etc. I dont think they could get it to work with Humans as we are made different, and probably you have to be trained for equipment like that and its language, etc.

I could talk more of that. The vehicle and its reactor are utterly amazing from what all I have read and seen online.

You talked about how memory can travel through time. If we do get out when we dream, I think that might be possible. I have seen things, been shown things that seem to do that. Prophets in the Bible were shown the future on many occasions, so its possible. But... You talked about getting behind the eyes of others during an abduction. What if.... You are accessing 'their' memories. That would be a wild jump.

Remember that movie about the boy that was a robot? I think it was called AI by Steven Spielberg. One of the only forms of life found on Earth thousands of years later was this boy adroid. They brought him to life with his memories to learn about humans. They found that the human mind was in time and space and through its memories it could traverse time in the universe. That one statement in that movie by that alien figure impressed me a great deal. The Human element is quite incredible. Body soul 'and' a spirit.

wings
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

This is the planes shape. The one in my dream where I thought I was flying it on 3 occasions, (someone elses memory?) was like this but seemed larger slightly and had a small plexi nose cap for a camera. I think it was taking photos along a main river for the invasion (the landing at Normandy).

I found the plane the next day online, but that was many years ago. This was the first one I found online tonight that was similar.



Oh, and I think I talked on this before, probably in a different post. I found myself awake in a dream (where you realize you are in a dream, very rare) and I found all these Russian people 'showing up'. They were in my dream, troops, and they had tons of military equipment. Planes, vehicle armoured carriers, etc. The area became an airport. I talked with a cute blonde girl in a uniform asking where they were from and she brought me to this guy with very short hair (fuzz) and grinning with one side of his face. He showed me a box which appeared in his hand (created it with his mind?) and it was a toy lazer gun, like from the late 1960's. He gave it to me, and I woke up. I guess I was in a 'area' I wasnt supposed to be in, and he had a little fun, but are military training their troops in the spirit? That was wild. Your writings reminded me of that. I do not remember it that well anymore and it was very quick, but there was a TON of people and equipment. All Russian.
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ManhattanSkyline
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Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

'UFO' isn't a bad nickname. :D Although I can see it not being so cool in 8th grade. In 6th grade I used to carry around a book of my visions of the flying horse that used to come visit me with drawings of her and her world and such. I got made fun of for it, too. I do empathize. Normal people can be so boring and oppressive!

Funny you mention the pencil lead. Coincidentally something similar happened to me when I was 5. I was romping around on my hands and knees on the carpet pretending to be a horse which I did every day at that time in my life and got quite good at it lol. Apparently there was a pencil in the floor and the point of it was caught in the carpet. My right knee came down on it and the point dug into my knee and the lead point broke off in my knee. It's left a greenish black mark in my knee ever since, and it's still there to this day. I guess it went in deep enough to make a kind of crude tattoo. However, your incident sounds as if it might be something else. Did you dream you stuck the pencil in your leg but it wasn't there when you woke up? My mark is still there, so it would seem to me that if yours was a real pencil lead in your leg that it would still be there. Do you think it could've been an implant?

It's interesting that when you asked the Russian military people where they were from they essentially showed you a 60's futuristic space gun. I hope there's no conflict with Russia soon. They and the Chinese military are acting weird. Hell, OUR military is acting weird. Everybody's getting riled up about something, but nobody's saying what exactly.

That is a really cool vision you had! It reminds me of a vision a friend of mine had while she was also in church, coincidentally. She had a vision of looking up and seeing Jesus in a starry night sky. He reached down and touched something invisible with his finger. It was like he was touching a point in space and time in the sky, or like touching the skin of reality itself because when she saw him touch it was like the entire sky rippled and there was a bit of a rainbow effect near his finger where he touched as if the sky were a thin piece of cellophane. I hope that makes sense. But waves went out from the point where he touched. The waves weren't just traveling through the sky but through space-time itself as if reality was a pond. Anyway, it was really cool and sounded similar to what you saw.

The picture of the plane you posted is like the plane I saw in my dream because I remember it had a red bullseye mark on the side. Maybe we are accessing the same memory but from different points of view? Or it's one of those past life things lol. I can't remember what I was researching on the net, but through some convoluted path of clicks I stumbled upon a video of a scientist who had done studies on remote viewing and electromagnetic fields and has an interesting theory about accessing other people's memories. There's some interesting technological implications for his theories. The video is almost an hour long, but I found it really interesting. Here's a link: https://youtu.be/9l6VPpDublg

I did some very rough sketches of the camp in the back field and a close-up of one of the posts. The posts surrounded the perimeter of the camp. The camp was made up of basic canvas military tents. I drew two figures to represent the young man and the nurse with the big hair that I used to always meet out there and became quite fond of. He usually wore some kind of brown army uniform, and she usually wore a white lab coat. The posts were each about 2ft. tall and about 5in. in diameter. The top of each had several slits around the circumference and emitted some kind of vibratory energy. Under the slits were lights. I can't remember if the light wrapped completely around the circumference of the post or just around one side like shown in drawing. I remember seeing the lights looking out at the posts from inside the camp. The lights were cool in color and pale reminiscent of solar or LED lights. Somehow the purpose of the posts were to emit an energy that was able to render the enclosed area invisible and/or shift it into another dimension. I had the impression that this kind of technology had all kinds of different applications. The posts weren't very big, but I got the impression that they did not have to be large. They were very powerful and the area they were working upon was not very big. I got the impression that larger posts could be used to enclose a larger area. As I was drawing the picture I suddenly thought of reading about megalithic sites like Stonehenge and New Grange in Ireland. I remember reading that archeologists would often times uncover post holes that surrounded the perimeter of the site. I entertained the idea that what if those holes had been occupied by something like these posts. You mentioned that the people in the camp could possibly move through time and materialize back in the field every so often; maybe every few hours for them but for me months would have passed. If they do have the ability to phase out of our reality and phase back in at any point in time, essentially time traveling, well, humor me for a bit. Say you are among a group of these individuals with this technology. You set up a perimeter in a field but want to see how far back in time you can go. You turn on the juice, and it looks like nothing much has happened, you are still in a field. What's the first thing you need to do? You need to establish what time you are now in. Now I'll be willing to bet that real time travel doesn't come with a nice year counter like in "Back to the Future" or "The Time Machine." You would have to find other ways to verify what time you had travelled to, maybe look at a newspaper or look at what style of clothes people are wearing. But if you want to go pretty far back in time before recorded history, you can't go by those things. How can you know what time you are in when you go back really far into the past? Well, the best thing to do is start doing solar and stellar measurements, in effect, build a huge astronomical/solar calendar that allows you to measure not just stellar drift which takes long swathes of time to be observable (much longer than several human lifetimes) but also solar measurements such as the orientation of the sun on solstices and equinoxes which show change much more quickly than stellar drift. The slight movement of the sun on those days drifts as time moves on and that would be an excellent measure to take and compare with the measurements of your home time to find out exactly what time it is. The posts and/or whatever technology they were using could move them through time, not necessarily space (your GPS coordinates remain constant), but the stone calendar could help them establish how much time they had moved through and, of course, since it was made of stone, it would remain standing for a long time and be usable on several different trips though thousands of years.

That was fun! But back to the present. I did have one of those unusual dreams a few weeks ago. If you remember, when I was very young, I used to see a shadow man wearing a trench coat and fedora hat come out of my closet, and my sister used to see him to. This dream turned out to be almost a kind of explanation for how he was able to come through my closet. Remember the story "Dragged out of bed" where I was dragged awake into my walk-in closet that actually turned out to be linked up with another room? Possibly one on a ship? If you remember, I had a dream right after that episode where I dreamed someone was in the closed and flipped a huge electrical switch to ramp up the energy in the room and you speculated that they might have somehow connected a room on their ship to my closet area. This dream kind of runs along the same lines or shows the same technology. In the dream I opened the door to the closet that the shadow man used to come out of when I was a child. I leaned in and heard a voice say "Hey!" as if it were coming from the lower right corner of the closet. It scared me, and I closed the door thinking I was experiencing a ghost. The next thing I know I'm following these men in a dark corridor. They don't know I'm following them. They stop and open up a secret passageway in the wall where there are some stairs that go down. I watch them go down. There's a door at the end of the stairs on the left but it has no doorknob. There some tools leaning against the door that they use to get the door open. They go in briefly, come out again, then go around the bottom of the stairs to another hallway. Come to think of it, the arrangement of the stairs and the hallway was the same as in the other incident I mentioned in "Dragged out of bed" of being lured down a "cellar door" that appeared in my apartment where I followed the faceless man in the polo shirt. Hmmm....maybe these are all the same people, the shadow man from my youth and the polo shirt men I've seen in the past couple of years. Those two experiences were the most real of my life and happened when I was awake. *shudder* Anyway, after they had left, I walked down the stairs to the little door on the left. I saw the tools leaning against the door. One was a piece of metal that actually looked like a large wall bracket for a curtain rod. The other was a stick with a pine cone on the end. I was able to look it up and the stick with the pine cone on the end is an actual thing. It's called a "thyrsus" and was used in ancient Greek rituals. The only thing I could find about a possible meaning was that the pine cone was thought to symbolize the pineal gland or "third eye" giving one spiritual sight. I suppose the thyrsus and curtain bracket could have been more symbolic, representing a pulling back of the curtain of reality. Any way I used these tools to pry open the door, and there I found a few steep steps into a very small room. The styling of it looked reminiscent of my father's house where I grew up but was obviously not an actual room in the house though it had the same thin green carpeting. The first thing I noticed was an intense feeling of electricity, like painful. In the center of the room was some kind of device set on a stool. It looked like the base of a wireless telephone set but with knobs all over it and two large antenna coming out the back of it. The energy was coming from this device. While I was in the dream I recognized the feeling of the electricity in the room. I had that feeling many times before in relation to abduction experiences. It's that humming sound but with a strong electric current in the air that makes you a little nauseous and makes your chest hurt like you are having a heart attack. It feels like getting struck by lightning or I image that's what getting struck would feel like. I noticed there was a door at the other end of the room. I opened it up and saw a few stairs that went up into the interior of my closet! The room attached to the closet wall where I had heard the "Hey!" sound earlier. I figured this was how one of the men was getting into my closet at night. There was also a small window on another wall and when I looked out, I was looking out over the outside of the house by my parents bedroom windows. Spatially the room didn't make sense. It was like some M.C. Escher drawing. It was supposed to be underground, but yet had a door into my closet on one end and a window to outside the house on the side. I then understood that the device with the antennae was raising the energy in the room and somehow allowing these men to make connection points on several different points of our property that they could access from this one room. I think this machine must work off of similar principles to the posts. Then I heard little kittens crawling out from under a table. They were some kittens from my childhood that we thought had gotten lost or eaten by wild animals. In the dream I understood that one of the men had let them in his room and kept them there and used them to lure my child self through one of those passageways into the room. That suddenly triggered so many other dreams and memories! I remember dreaming that I was in the attic of my fathers house where I grew up but it was really big. The actual attic is really just a crawl space, but in my dream it was a much larger room and there was radio equipment and antennas set up in the room. And I remember in the dream thinking "How could I have forgotten this was here?" I noticed there were some small toy figurines I had lost when I was a child set on the counter, and I knew the man who operated the equipment had taken them. I think he used them like the kittens to lure me into his space. I think this because I have a very specific memory (not a dream) of being at one of my mom's friend's houses down the road. This was again when I was very young. They were an old couple that my mom would love to chat with and exchange recipes. I remember HATING to go into their dining room. I remember crying to my mother whenever she tried to bring me in the dining room. I dreaded that room. I used to feel that painful electricity feeling in that room. I also remember specifically playing in that room (must've been before I was afraid of it) while my mom and the lady talked in another room. I was crawling around on my hands and knees around the dining table (maybe I was pretending to be a horse again). I remember crawling around the far side of the room between the wall and the table and chairs and for all the world seeing a secret passageway open up in the side of the wall. I remember looking in and being fascinated like something magical was happening. I remember looking in and seeing either a gray concrete or metal floor with very little lighting but I remember seeing one of my long lost toys sitting on the floor on the other side of that passage way and being desperate to get it and crawling through that opening. I don't remember anything else after that. But I definitely remember hating that room afterwards and refusing to go in it and feeling like I was about to get snatched up by a ghost if I ever set foot in it. Anyway, all of that connects with those men and the technology they used to drag me in the closet to one of their rooms. It makes me wonder if the dust smell we talked about isn't an atmospheric side effect of ramping up all that energy to make the spatial connection.
Attachments
Close up of posts set up around camp perimeter.
Close up of posts set up around camp perimeter.
Tents set up in back field of my father's place where I was taken as a child.
Tents set up in back field of my father's place where I was taken as a child.

wings
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

That is pretty wild, Manhattan. Great sketches.

I have thought on shifting dimensions with electricity quite a bit after reading about it in the world fair before WWII hit, and the Philadelphia project as well. Somehow the ship did the trip to Australia in 30 minutes, but I thought maybe it made the journey in fast motion or something. But with you talking about the room, perhaps they can open a portal and go right through it to Australia. Maybe you can make a portal with a field. Very interesting. Imagine also holding portals open for long periods of time. Goodness, that would be cool. Walk from your bedroom closet into Walmart, pick up some groceries, and back into your home again. Wild, lol...

Good concept on those post holes. I have heard of those holes. Interesting...

About Jesus touching the sky, awesome! Sounds very similar to mine.

In a dream once, walking through this awesome little valley with small homes under big trees (a row of them under some trees), and a big mountain range ahead, I was just so in awe of it all, so beautiful, and I started talking to God and thanking him and all of a sudden, above the mountains, a huge set of eyes looked in and downward at me and I recognized them immediately. Jesus. I woke up.

So odd to be in a land far away, you had never seen before, and you see Jesus, and suddenly you are back in your bed at home.

Some pretty amazing memories and things. That equipment has me thinking. Also, you talked on dust smell. Is it like 'rust' dust? Like when you are sanding an old car, rusty metal fender, and you can taste the metal in the air?

Thinking on those people in old uniforms (Brown was the Army uniform in WWII), had me thinking of that show Manhattan, the series on WGN. They are people without computers, making the atom bomb in the early 1940's, trying to figure out nuclear fusion, etc. Seeing their clothes and uniforms and their hair styles is really wild. (Its a very well done series). So what if there was another 'place' that was working on portals and things, like these electric fields; displacement of space/time.

Did you see the video that went wild, showing a car 'appear' in traffic in a turn about in some place like Russia (of all places). The car literally appears and I think hits another car and everyone swerves to keep from hitting the newly appeared car. This was caught be a dash cam.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8zc0L4RiAU

Who knows what all is going on. Very cool to catch some glimpses behind the scenes though. Seeing Jesus was just so awesome. Better then seeing a huge, shiny, new, silent, hovering UFO. (How on earth do they hover?? Some amazing sciences out there).

By the way, I keep looking for that photo of a saucer that appears to have a living room painted or glowing on one side. I havent found it yet, but when I do, I'll post it. It was very vague and small, but to me, thats what it looked like, connecting spaces.

Oh... On a very cool article I read online about S4 and where they have the USAF portal, (Stargate), they have several craft, UFO's. One they call 'gumdrop', a black thing that has a eery skin hull, like it eats light or something. They cannot describe it well. But it made me think of an episode in Star Trek (the series that was the 'first' Enterprise) and they come across this ship in space that was small, black, and odd, but inside it had all these rooms and hallways. What is this was that? I know the USAF helped out the series Stargate SG1, and a ton of people went into the USAF just because of that series. I am sure they are trying to share as much as possible to the public as stealthily as possible. Pretty interesting if you could build a ship with such 'rooms' inside of a hull that is quite small. What a theory and concept that would be, especially if it were totally stable like a regular car.

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
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Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Yes! There is a metal taste to the dust smell! That time in the "Dragged Out of Bed" episode, it felt like the dust was coating my throat and there was a metallic almost blood-like taste in the back of my mouth. Also, when I was dreaming about the small room and seeing the device with the antennae I had a flash back in the dream to an experience I had when I was around 9. I was sharing a room with my mom and in the middle of the night I saw the shadow of one of those tall skeleton-like creatures standing by the window, and I remember feeling the electricity. I don't know if there was an actual electrical storm going on outside or what, but I remember feeling electricity, and it was painful. It actually felt like short, percussive bursts of electricity hitting my chest. It felt like dying. My arms hurt like they were being squeezed...you know that feeling of suffocating and you get that pain all over like your body is starving for oxygen and having fits? I don't know how I know that feeling; I've never been on the verge of suffocation or drowning. It's just hard describe. Really it feels like what I felt when that electrical phenomena was going on my bedroom when my room was like a plasma globe and those fingers of electricity were hitting me. In short: full-body pain, air is thick and difficult to breathe, extreme chest pain, mental confusion (hard to hold on to thoughts for very long). But anyway, back to the flashback: I remember seeing the shadow and feeling that electrical pain and having a metallic taste in my mouth. I did some googling and learned that some people who were either struck by lightning or were near a lightning strike would taste metal just before the strike occurred, so I definitely think the metallic taste is a symptom of electrical phenomena. I also read that extreme anxiety attack and fear can cause a metallic taste in the mouth, apparently a side-effect of adrenaline dump. I think that could apply in some cases. But that night in "Dragged out of bed" nothing had happened yet, and I wasn't particularly afraid, so the metallic taste could have been electrically induced.

I love that show! It's weird. I've seen a lot of people in military uniforms in these dreams and memories. But, honestly, I know nothing about the military or uniforms. Was the man in the tent wearing WWII army khakis or was he marine or navy? Hell if I know. The man who catalogued us in the orchard who was carrying the disembodied head under his arm, he was wearing these denim coveralls. Was he wearing WWII army denims or was he just wearing a basic utility service type of coverall? Maybe I was interacting with some of the earlier experimenters from the 40s/50s, but there was also some really modern stuff, too. For example, when I remember being the man on the missions working with them and talking with my child self, I was wearing a fairly modern military uniform. It was all black (I guess because it was night time), black boots, black cargo pants, black jacket and utility belt, black gloves with the fingertips cut out, black beret, and I was carrying an automatic rifle. The "secret father" guy also wore more modern woodland style camo and cap. I don't know what that's all about. If the technology can travel in time then I guess it doesn't matter from what time frame your team members originate. I throw my hands up! I really don't know what's going on or what any of it means! Sometimes things make sense, and then suddenly they don't. Of my waking experiences, the shadow man of my youth wore a trench coat and fedora hat-- very 50s/60s period. But the men that dragged me out of bed wore really modern striped polo shirts, jeans, and sneakers. What a bastard mix of clothing styles! But I swear that's honestly what I saw. But, honestly, I couldn't tell you what branch of the military or what organization to which these people belonged.

Cool video with the car. I hope you are able to find that UFO photo.

That is a neat concept of the ship. I remember seeing a Doctor Who episode with a similar concept--a ship that had different rooms that linked to other places in time. Truthfully, I always got the impression that the place where these men took me was under ground. The room that connected with my closet was under the house. I've had those recurring dreams of being that man in a tank that was filling up with water on the night I was born--that room was under the back field. I've had really vivid dreams of holes opening up in the back yard of my childhood home and seeing a house under the ground and telling my mother, "We are living in the wrong house! Our real home is underground!" I had another dream of being this man, and well...beyond the back field are a few houses and then the interstate with an overpass nearby. In the dream, there was an entrance point to an underground room near the base of the overpass. I remember going down underground and being in a room that was like a locker room. There were several shower stalls. I was taking a shower in one and there were some dry clothes hung up next to the stall for me to wear. There was a tunnel from the room that lead northeast, toward my father's place. I've dreamed of an underground complex under the hill where I work. I remember finding a small room off of the main room with some seating that faced a large picture window on the side of the hill. There was a door next to it leading to the outside. Somehow the window and door were invisible from the outside. Come to think of it, in that dream where the tall angel-man walked me up to the top of the hill where the white clapboard house was and said "This is yours," we were climbing up the hill from where that entry way would have been in the side of the hill.

Is there really stuff actually under our land or the hill where I work or is it that the electric technology makes it possible for them to make connection points to those places wherever the underground base happens to be? Wow. I am really speculating now. You know, rabbit holes and all that. I could keep going.

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Oh, I wanted to add one more thing to this thread since it has the stuff about what happened on the Smith's property. I can't remember if I mentioned it on this thread or not, but back when I was seeing a lot of UFOs (2008-2010), I think this was 2009, I was driving north of town where I live now and saw a big black helicopter fly low right over me. It was low enough for me to see it was military (the sides were open) but there was absolutely no markings on it. It flew low over towards a rising field in the east. Well, a few days after seeing that, I drove back to that spot and noticed there was a dirt county road that went east from there, so I started going down it, but it was spring and we had just had a big rain. The road was really muddy and I ran into a road block. There were big abandoned bulldozers that I guess had been working on the road but all the dirt they had turned up had turned into a muddy mess with the rain. They had closed the road, and I couldn't go any farther. Well, I finally had the presence of mind to try that road again and see if I could find anything that would be attracting such a helicopter. Well, the road went straight east for miles and miles. I crossed a few highways and kept following it straight east. It went behind the next few towns until the road finally ended at a T with another county road, and guess what county road that was? Why the Smith's road of course! It actually came up behind the field where I had gotten shots with other kids and saw my secret father in the white clapboard house. All I had to do was turn right at the T and in a few yards pass under the overhanging trees and then a few yards more pass by the Smith's house. The road had been a straight shot east, no big curves. I guess it would be a good visual for an aircraft to follow. Anyway, it was more synchronistic than anything.

Oh, I remember when I saw the helicopter to try to remember as much as possible. I remember looking at the car clock, but I don't remember what time it was any more. But I do remember what song was playing in my car. It was called "Stay on These Roads"; the chorus goes, "Stay on these roads. We shall meet, I know." Another little synchronistic detail. Anyway thought I'd share as an interesting curiosity/side note.

wings
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Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

ManhattanSkyline wrote: Oh, I remember when I saw the helicopter to try to remember as much as possible. I remember looking at the car clock, but I don't remember what time it was any more. But I do remember what song was playing in my car. It was called "Stay on These Roads"; the chorus goes, "Stay on these roads. We shall meet, I know." Another little synchronistic detail. Anyway thought I'd share as an interesting curiosity/side note.
Very wild... Those 'synchronisities', when they happen, really make the hair stand up on my neck. The chances of them crossing are probably millions to one, like hitting the lottery.


On underground facilities. I watched a documentary, actually two, on underground bases. I had also read a lengthy story by a man about having talked with aliens that were very human like and they had underground bases and they would walk to a spot in a green field and slowly sink down a hole that would appear to have a step in it. The grass would fold away. Another person in a plane in the Midwest here in America is flying over a countryside, changes his transponder code or something in his small plane and a massive V shape opening just opens right up in front of him and its a massive (massive) hanger like facility down in the ground. It then closes as he flies over it. That one is famous and it cannot be found, but the guy swares by it. He could see many vehicles and I think helos down in there. Oddly, the grass doors thing that the aliens in Italy had in the 1950's was exactly like this. They hover over a field and the grass appears to just roll up or shrink open like a v or square opening.

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
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Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

That's pretty wild. In the recurring dream of the night I was born, I was the man I always dream I am, and there was a perfect circle of plowed ground in my father's field. I stood in the circle, and I literally sank into the ground there and into the round tank-like room. It's so weird how similar people's experiences can be--like this stuff wants to be real, but you just don't want it to be cuz it's so dang weird!

wings
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

Ok, here is something else that is weird. I just realized this, that the ones in Italy that had a huge base (aliens) were extremely human looking. You could barely tell they were alien, or couldnt tell at all. And... they had ground covered bunkers and offices underground. If yours was made the same as theirs, I wonder if its the same race? That could be a alien base, or outpost, like a weather station, etc. Who knows. But, it could be one of theirs if it had the ground cover technology like the ones in Italy had.

Was the man tall and did he have blue eyes? Tall meaning 6 feet or more?

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Hmmm...physical details. You are really testing my ability to see and remember detail! I will do my best to describe the people as honestly as I remember them.

When I am that man, it's hard to describe him because I am seeing everything from his perspective. I know he is tall. 6ft or more. Kind of dark hair. I'm not really sure about the eyes. i only really have one experience of being my child self looking up at him in the backyard of my childhood home. Other times I am him in the experience. I'm really not sure what color eyes (I don't remember staring at myself in a mirror. lol). I know when I am him, I feel incredibly strong and light and agile on my feet, full of energy and quick, better than I've ever felt in my real body.

The two main people I remember in military uniforms besides myself were the man in the brown military uniform from the sketch and my secret father. Both were a little bit shorter than me when I am the man. When I saw the secret father in the camo that time, he had a cap on and gray hair at the temples. When I saw him in the white clapboard house, he was younger and had dark hair and beard and blue eyes. Which makes me think even more that there is some kind of time travel/manipulation going on, because the first time I saw secret father he was an old man (late 50s, early 60s), but when I saw him later in the clapboard house he was younger (mid-forties probably). I was a young child when both experiences happened, but I was slightly older in the clapboard house experience than the first one, though not by much. I've had other dreams of him--sometimes he is a young man with dark hair and clean shaven face, and one time I saw him he was really old and had gotten thin. Those times there's a younger man with him that I take to be the older brother of myself as the man. When I see them in these dreams, the secret father is compassionate and reaches out to help me while my older brother is more suspicious and reluctant.

The man in the brown uniform from the tent sketch was even shorter than secret father, but not abnormally short by any means. He had brown hair and brown eyes. He was very nice to me. Kind of a squarish kind face. I always saw him with the nurse lady with big hair. He was young when I saw him as a child in the back field, maybe mid-to-late twenties. But when I had that emotional dream of meeting him and the lady at the table year later, he had obviously aged, seemed to be in his late-forties, early-fifties. She never seemed to age much. Curiously, she was taller than he was. She was really tall actually. She was tall and thin. Her skin was really pale. She had this reddish brown pouf of curly big Texas hair that came down to her shoulders. She had pretty blue eyes. She was kind, too, but she always was the more business like. I remember talking and playing with the short guy, but the lady always wanted to get down to business while we played. It was her job to give me the injections and other tests. She tried to make a game of it, too. But she was the one that had to do the medical stuff. I think he was just there to keep me distracted and keep me from getting scared.

Truthfully, the nurse lady could have been something other than human, but she was certainly passable if she wasn't. Maybe the big hair was a wig? But the brown uniform guy and secret father looked absolutely normal human.

There were a few others I remember in brief bits and pieces. They kind of looked human but there were some things that were slightly different...really just the eyes. I remember when I was trying to remember what happened to me during the lightning flash at the Smith's place, I got a flash of being in a room. This was when I was a small kid, 3 or 4. I don't know if it was underground or on a ship or what. I think it might have been on a ship. In the room there was a side nook to the room where I was sitting in an L-shaped metal chair (kind of looked like a bench-press chair but metal). There where knobs and levers and hoses in the walls directly in front and behind me. I couldn't move. There was a man ahead of me and to the right of me who was sitting down in a chair and at a panel that had similar nobs and things. He turned and looked back at me and it scared me. He was in a black uniform similar to the one I sometimes wore as the man. He had pale skin and dark black hair. He looked very human like, but his eyes were slightly different. They were bigger than a normal human's eyes. They had an iris, pupil, and white with eyelids snd eyelashes like a normal human but they were just bigger. It looked like the outer edges of the eye didn't taper like ours. The eyes were wider and the outside edges didn't taper as much, seemed more wide and rectangular before abruptly tapering. I'm trying to compare it to something--kind of like anime cartoon character eyes, not when they are round but when they are more rectangular with big irises. I don't think I'm helping. Anyway, seeing his eyes scared me because they were different and because they were piercing. It was like he could see into me and know what I was thinking, like he was telepathic. In another frame of that memory, I remember sitting in that chair and smelling blood. I remember someone standing to the immediate right of me just outside of my vision. He had these long, pencil-like silver instruments inside my head, and I realized he was digging around inside my brain. I could feel the instruments in my head, felt pressure changes, and felt like something went "pop" in there. I remember being scared and him telling me not to move, and boy did I concentrate on not moving because I didn't want to get brain damage!

I don't think it was the same guy, but I remember a similar-looking guy that I met on the Smith's place. I had a dream of him once, and his image was crystal clear. He was wearing a one-piece denim blue coverall. He had dark hair and nice facial features. He was really good looking actually. I remember thinking he looked like Bruce Springsteen. But he had a long face with strong jaw line and cheek bones. He had a distinctive dimple in his chin. He had the same big eyes as the other guy. His were very blue and striking as well as being large and hypnotic. He was alluring and dangerous at the same time. I could feel myself getting drawn into his eyes. I had the feeling that he used his good looks to his advantage to get a second look from someone. He just needed a few seconds to lock eyes with you, and it was like he could hypnotize you with his eyes. I had the feeling that he did that a lot. He was able to hypnotize people without them realizing it and mess with their minds so they would do things that were more advantageous to him. I kept thinking, "He's manipulating his superiors, and they don't even realize it." The dream was weird in that above him was a round black ball hanging in the sky (I remember thinking "black sun"), but it was tethered to the man with a chain he was holding in his hands. Sometimes the man would pull the black ball down to the earth and where ever it touched the ground, fires would start before it rose back up in the sky. He just seemed like a guy who was causing trouble and mischief. I have another fuzzy memory that I think had him in it. It was in the evening. My mother had just finished visiting with Mrs. Smith and packed us kids up in the car to take us home. We were heading down the Smith's long driveway, when Mr. Smith drove up from the opposite direction in his white pick-up truck. I remember sitting in the backseat and seeing the truck stop in front of us and Mr. Smith getting out of the truck to talk to my mom in the driver's seat of the car, but there was another man that got out of the passenger seat of his pick-up, and he wore these same pale coveralls, and he came over to my side of the car, and then I remember nothing. I remember the whole experience feeling dream-like at that point. I think it was the same guy that I dreamed about later with the black sun.

I've been asking them to let me see the ground open up if they really have an underground base. If they are willing to let me see ufos when I am clear and conscious, I'm asking that they will let me see the ground open up when I am clear and conscious also. I'd like some sort of clear, smack-you-in-the-face confirmation of all the underground dreams and memories that can't be explained away.

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Btw, you keep referring to these human-like aliens in Italy in an underground base. Is this from a specific book you read?

ManhattanSkyline
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 7:14 pm
Location: Texas

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by ManhattanSkyline »

Sorry. I thought of something else.

I was looking through one of my old notebooks where I used to write songs. I wrote these particular songs long before I realized I was experiencing something out of the ordinary, long before I saw my first UFO or had aliens on the brain. I saw a couple of those songs and couldn't believe how well they connected with some of these experiences I've been remembering.

I wrote one song called "I Know This". I was trying to express this strange feeling of familiarity I felt in my father's back field and trying to figure out why I felt so connected to it. The lyrics don't make much sense except they do now if I put them in the context of these experiences I've been remembering. As I was writing the song, I was remembering standing in my father's back field and smelling the dirt smell and the deep familiarity I had with that smell, and now I know that the same dust smell is associated with visitations of these human-like people. It just gives me goosebumps all over. The song goes

I shed my skin. I'm feeling new again.
I know this when you call me out.
I smell the earth like when I was a child.
I know this when you draw me out.

I'm writing on my walls, trying to find the signs and read them,
hoping that they'll show me how to get to you.
I'm calling out my windows, searching in the dark to find you,
searching for that something I've never seen before.

I am the sky when the sun goes down at night.
I remember when you pull me out.
I feel the rain, and it's coming down again.
I know this when you call me out.

Weird, huh? I found another song that reminds me strongly of the Smith's road and the experiences I had there with my secret father in the white clapboard house. It goes

Late afternoon outside in the autumn's slant light,
the light of ghosts, I feel like I'm a ghost, transparent.
Back door behind me, no more an entrance.
I'm here to stay. I'm here to search for something,
here, transparent.

Winter is coming. All the trees with their dark bones
are stark against the sky. My bones are just as dry.
The grass at my feet--it smolders in it's death,
and the wind catches our souls, carries them down the dirt road
until the road vanishes.

And there I'll see him.
And there I'll speak to him.
There--where the light is sparkling,
there--where the sky is breathing.
There's where I'll return.

wings
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:38 pm

Re: How Can I Remember?

Post by wings »

Hey Manhattan,

The Italian aliens story was online. If I find it again, I'll post the link. It was interesting.

There are two versions of very human looking aliens, the Tall Whites and also the Nordics. The Nordics are closest looking to us, except they have 24 teeth instead of 36, I think 6 fingers (not sure) but look like they are from Sweden or Norway. That is probably the race that was in Italy, I think Northern Italy, where its cooler. The Nordics love the cold weather. They love Wisconsin.

Very wild about that music. Really hits home.

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