A short/quick memory came back
Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2016 6:22 pm
Hello folks!
Before I mention anything, I must tell a bit of my birth conditions, I think it is related to the memory I recovered.
My birth wasn't exactly expected, not because my parents didn't want me but because I had near 0% of chance of surviving. I grew inside my mother's uterus (duh?!) alongside a tumor, we both shared the same place. Doctors barely could X-Ray me due the tumor. Doctors always said I would simply born dead, which didn't happened since I'm typing here.
There is also a "spiritual" part of my birth: doctors would attempt to forcedly take me out at November 2nd and this date, here on Brazil, is the day of the dead (Dia de finados), mother and grandma where against this very much, they convinced the doctors to do it a day earlier. November 1st is a religious day as some may know (All Hallows/ Day of all Saints) they thought the saints would help me at November 1st and the Devils kill me a day after.
Anyways, I survived without anything that could led me to a problem and mother had both ovaries removed due the tumor.
The part of the memories:
If I ask anyone "What is the oldest memory you have?", They always say something about the time when they were 5 years old or more. But I, I remember things from when I was only 1 year old. Last night (18/07/2016) I kept thinking about those memories, remembering, trying to remember more things. My oldest memory is me, seated on a small ledge, with a 4 step stairs on my right, staring at the gate of the very first house lived with my parents (which happens to be near my actual house nowadays, I went there sometimes to visit and relieve the past), I remember every detail of this scene. I also remember taking pictures with some brow clothes some months after on this same place, when I was able to walk around; mother still has the pictures. Anyways, I kept trying to remember anything else from this time last night because it is hell-ish odd I can remember those stuff and no one else I know can. After some minutes, alone on my bed with those thoughts... an even earlier memory flashed on my head:
Me, at my baby crib, being stared by a black figure with big eyes and even more bigger head, it tilted it's head to the right (my left) at the moment and it hand moved in my direction.
I don't remember anything else, but I think it attempted to carry me.
If you reading so far and is asking what my childbirth has anything to do with this, that's my conclusion of all of this:
I indeed born without defects nor detectable diseases, but I developed an incurable disease when I was about 3 months old, the time I think this memory is. I also think I can remember a lot of stuff from my toddler/baby years because they indeed abducted me and did something with me that modified me, which led to my disease and this freaking paranoia I have that I'm not into my own body but at a borrowed one.
I think they got me because I survived the birth alongside a tumor and decided to analyze this really rare event and specimen I was.
At the memory, I wasn't scared, but thinking of it now gets me scared, a lot, I get no idea why...
Before I mention anything, I must tell a bit of my birth conditions, I think it is related to the memory I recovered.
My birth wasn't exactly expected, not because my parents didn't want me but because I had near 0% of chance of surviving. I grew inside my mother's uterus (duh?!) alongside a tumor, we both shared the same place. Doctors barely could X-Ray me due the tumor. Doctors always said I would simply born dead, which didn't happened since I'm typing here.
There is also a "spiritual" part of my birth: doctors would attempt to forcedly take me out at November 2nd and this date, here on Brazil, is the day of the dead (Dia de finados), mother and grandma where against this very much, they convinced the doctors to do it a day earlier. November 1st is a religious day as some may know (All Hallows/ Day of all Saints) they thought the saints would help me at November 1st and the Devils kill me a day after.
Anyways, I survived without anything that could led me to a problem and mother had both ovaries removed due the tumor.
The part of the memories:
If I ask anyone "What is the oldest memory you have?", They always say something about the time when they were 5 years old or more. But I, I remember things from when I was only 1 year old. Last night (18/07/2016) I kept thinking about those memories, remembering, trying to remember more things. My oldest memory is me, seated on a small ledge, with a 4 step stairs on my right, staring at the gate of the very first house lived with my parents (which happens to be near my actual house nowadays, I went there sometimes to visit and relieve the past), I remember every detail of this scene. I also remember taking pictures with some brow clothes some months after on this same place, when I was able to walk around; mother still has the pictures. Anyways, I kept trying to remember anything else from this time last night because it is hell-ish odd I can remember those stuff and no one else I know can. After some minutes, alone on my bed with those thoughts... an even earlier memory flashed on my head:
Me, at my baby crib, being stared by a black figure with big eyes and even more bigger head, it tilted it's head to the right (my left) at the moment and it hand moved in my direction.
I don't remember anything else, but I think it attempted to carry me.
If you reading so far and is asking what my childbirth has anything to do with this, that's my conclusion of all of this:
I indeed born without defects nor detectable diseases, but I developed an incurable disease when I was about 3 months old, the time I think this memory is. I also think I can remember a lot of stuff from my toddler/baby years because they indeed abducted me and did something with me that modified me, which led to my disease and this freaking paranoia I have that I'm not into my own body but at a borrowed one.
I think they got me because I survived the birth alongside a tumor and decided to analyze this really rare event and specimen I was.
At the memory, I wasn't scared, but thinking of it now gets me scared, a lot, I get no idea why...